A point to expand with – already did once before – again now…looking at the point of not living up to my commitments to accumulate manifesting.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow within self-dishonesty when realizing the fact that I have ‘fallen’ into it, meaning justification and excuse to follow the past, the patterns what momentarily comfort me to avoid facing manifested consequences in reality.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ‘falling’ as justification to define ‘I am now fallen, so I can do shit what I should not but at this point it does not matter as I am already in this fallen mode’ – and not realizing that it’s not binary, but this is how the self-deception through the mind can be self-abused – through the polarity, meanwhile reality is not black or white, there is accumulation of everything, thus the belief that ‘I have already fallen, thus I can do shit now’ is also self-deception, reality is not simply ‘remaining fallen’ – but falling further so to speak with manifesting consequences – and within all not realizing that the whole concept of fallen into self-dishonesty is just another trap of self-dishonesty and it’s not about how deep I am willing to fall, but how I accumulate not falling within consistency.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this self-dishonest self-definition pattern I apply every day within writing application, as ‘I did not write yesterday, so I should, but as I did not write yesterday either, and I could justify it, today it’s a bit easier to justify it again’ – and within that defining and feeling like I am a victim, meanwhile it’s myself – I am doing this to me directly, through my mind from which perceived as being done indirectly.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized the simplicity to stand up in any given moment, as literally stopping the past is the only way, thus if I wait for more, for something, to ‘get fed up’ or ‘gather will, energy’ to stand up again – I am not moving directly, but through the mind, and thus it’s not self-movement, self-direction, self-trust, self-will I create, but conditioning, dis empowerment, hope and justifications – thus the only way is to decide, move and act – regardless of WHEN I have ‘committed’ self-dishonesty, last year, yesterday or just a moment before – I stand up here unconditionally.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that principle is not something I make it dependent to conditions – or if so, it is not principle, but it is compromise, which by I accept and allow to delude myself that I am actually living, meanwhile I am simply bouncing from one reaction to another within the consistent momentary belief of control and direction being played out automatically – yet in those moments honestly seeing that even from the deepest pit of self-compromise, it is always one step to LIVE absolute self-honesty, as it’s not about the amount of self-honesty, but the truly honest, right and practical step in any given moment to do.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to radicalize the concept, principle and action of self-honesty by defining that there is such absolute, brutal, radical self-honesty ‘out there’ which is tough, difficult and heroic so thus I have to gain energy to reach by participating in the idea and self-definition of such devotion towards it, meanwhile existing in a bubble in my mind for just the next seep of energetic mind addiction experience, instead of letting it all go, breathe and move myself directly, decompose all patters within me to the point of simplicity, consistency and common sense.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that the reason I play with the idea of a special kind of self-honesty versus self-honesty is to be able to differentiate some moments, situations and conditions from some other moments, thus not realizing that this is the same as the self-dishonest pattern of spirituality, wherein declaring some moments to be more special than others based on my interest, idea of superiority based on conditions I am still holding onto in my mind as self-definition.
- I see, realize and understand that the leap of faith here means to let go of definitions of measurement and judgement of self-honesty and trust myself – and within that to become transparent with myself of wherein I still rely to judgement, condition, comparison in relation to self-honesty, meaning in some kind of moments allowing ‘smaller’ self-dishonesty in order to spare energy, attention and willpower to focus to ‘bigger’ self-dishonesty points to prevent and in the meantime not realizing that my idea of ‘small’ and ‘big’ are biased based on self-dishonesty I am not aware of or not wanting to admit yet. Thus the solution is to specifically note the ones I obviously time-loop with and support regular writing and honestly answering to myself why.
Within this I see and realize that I have abused my self-trust in regarding to writing my blog, which is just a practical example of this pattern to work with here, because I said to myself: I write as much as I can in practical application without over-committing or forcing myself, but to write on any day whenever I obviously can by prioritizing my day – so I relied to this conditional pattern to trust, not myself. Because if I would trust myself, I would be able to assess reality in every single occasion/day: can I write today, shall I write today?
But what I did was ‘ah, there is no pressure today, lest postpone it’ – and then defined myself by that action I chose, and on the next day relying to that, not re-aligning myself back to the point of presence, practical common sense and self-honesty in the moment here.
Might be too complicated how I described it, but getting more clear as writing it here.
Key here is not to judge myself for what I already did, missed to do or manifested, yet honestly looking at it and learning from it.
I use my blog writing as it’s simple and something I committed to do and still committing to do, there is no forcing about it. It is something what ALWAYS makes sense within practical common sense to keep writing and sharing, whenever I can, regardless of my situation.
And what I also did not consider is that things happen in reality, I got extremely lot of overtime, work, company meets, travels and indeed those added the list of challenges to keep writing, yet none of those separated or altogether should prevent me to write at least 5-10 minutes a day.
So all in all, seeing this point required to continue to be checked and re-aligned and learn from any upcoming points from it.
Commitment: it is very supportive, because if I word my decision of what I want to do, live and act, then it will be obvious when I will do it – or not do it – thus I can directly see what I need to keep being aware of to live how I decide to live.
This is a self-creation point, kind of from nothingness, there is no one or nothing in this world really pushing me to do this, yet it is something I see as supportive thus deciding to do, thus whatever resistances, inner or outer I face when expressing it, it is my responsibility to solve.
- I commit myself to not use already done, manifested, accepted and allowed self-dishonesty to justify another self-dishonesty again. Each moment is equally new opportunity to stand up and re-align within self-honesty. When and as I hear to, listen to any justification in my mind or outside of me, I see, realize and understand – it is self-dishonest and it is my direct responsibility to stand up in this moment, just as will be in the next one until the end of times.
- When and as I try to justify not being honest to myself, I remind myself that I only manifest consequences, not good or bad, thus creating the reality I am going to exist within in either way, thus the common sense is to practically walk self-correction and let go of the self-definitions and justifications and focus to what’s real, here and physical.
- When and as I see the justification of ‘being tired’ or ‘not having enough time’, I see that when focusing to ‘entertainment’ – I am less tired, thus indicating resistance by self-defining my commitment to be a ‘chore’, instead of owning commitments to be who I really am as equal as anything else of me in and as the physical.
What really can support is to walk the mind within structure with assistance. Desteni I Process LITE online course supports with that – it is free and there is a buddy(guide/support), who is experienced with the mind and it’s pitfalls. I really recommend it: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com