Day 402 – Back to Basics is grand

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  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my physical body as a vessel, a tool, a device for placement of my mind consciousness system and not considering IT to be ME as equal as one – in any and all moments consistently.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized the tension I make my human physical body carry through my mind’s activities such as worry, anxiety, judgments, desires and procrastination and not seeing the doable solution to understand the source points of those reactions, thought patterns, their trigger points and within each to become aware of the give up, defeat, powerlessness and justification pattern and write what to DO to prevent to fall into those patterns.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that the only relevant pattern, equation, science what I really need for change, improvement, expansion and power is to truly grasp what it means the 1+1=2 – as within it to see/realize/understand the real power in creation and existence is within accumulation – and thus to realize – what I sow is what I reap – thus to make sure that what I participate within – I am aware of it’s consequence – speaking of my own mind and through that all my interaction in this world.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that if I am resisting to develop consistency toward accumulation through considered actions, I am accepting my self-limitation and thus I have to investigate why I do that and what is the thought-pattern, self-definition, the emotional reaction I maintain and re-create in that specific situation – thus being able to see the pattern before I am going to be participating within.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that to be able to see a pattern before participating within it requires further understanding which I have to embark onto a journey to discover, which means series of directed actions, such as self-investigative writing, decomposing thought-patterns, opening up old memories so then in the moment I do not have to think of why and what I feel or should do – thus I do not ‘Think who I am, but Knowing who I am’ – and within this practical knowledge is when I do not think in real time, but acting immediately.
  • I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down to the degree of being able to see my mind, my thoughts, and justifying it by ‘I need to work’, ‘There is no time for this’ or ‘this is stupid, I just can think myself outside of the BOX and not realizing, THINKING IS THE BOX’ – thus to become honest with myself that whenever I think, involuntarily – it is not me thinking, but my pre-programmed mind puts me into a situation it sees to fit, regardless of is it the best possible way or not, is it the possibly best for me and others, all life or not – and I am the only one who can deprogram it and give it a change.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that I need to re-start process, BACK TO BASICS, and it is not to be judged, but to be honest with myself and no matter why, or how many times, but if I am slipping from the principled living, to get back to the beginning and start over with the most obvious points, things to write, forgive myself and start self-correcting.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start becoming aware of a pattern and let it go and give it away within thinking or judging that it is now better, fine and get distracted by other points, other reactions, and not realizing that I did not walk this point to the utmost specificity and manifested yet into real, consistent and measurable change.
  • I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge myself, my behavior, my thinking, my desires, my suppression, my reactions, my body, my visual representation, my habits, my taste for things and get distracted and mesmerized by the polarity system with self-definition of positive and negative reactions and not seeing the actual addiction to this energetic reactions, positive feelings or negative emotions, and within that to see that my mind is a self-balancing energetic parasite living off my human life force as the physical body, as the equal and one aspect with all of existence and within that to realize the ridiculousness, limiting and degenerative nature of the mind consciousness system each human accepts themselves to exist through and within.
  • I forgive myself that I have lost the consistent awareness of ‘each and every single human being is equally responsible for the current state of this earth’ and fall into the games of my mind instead of keeping real, present and directive each day, accumulating expansion, awareness and practical change through applying radical self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-corrective and self-commitment statements to assist and support myself into actual and real physical change.
  • I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to wake up in the morning as breath as me, as moment as me.

This is crucial for me, I repeat to write it down.

  • I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to wake up in the morning as breath as me, as moment as me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a way what is not the utmost potential of who I am as life and within that not being absolutely detail-oriented and specific and thus allowing the tendency to generalize, judge and react, instead of keeping it practical, real and doable.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider myself to be equal and one with my human physical body and judging it, reacting to it, and handling it’s weaknesses as something to hate, get pissed off about and not realizing the mirror what it holds to who I accept myself to be as beingness, as the representative and the earth ambassador of Life who I am, just as everyone and everybody else equally as one.

Enjoy EQAFE:

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Day 395 Vlogs – Self-honesty and Energy

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Two VLOGS I find relevant to become aware of the patterns we have to change within:

Self-honesty:

And Energy:

 

Great support at

http://desteniiprocess.com

Write your own freedom blog:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

 

Day 391 – Death as equalizer – or is it Life?

P1000400There is this saying that Death is the true equalizer of war, meaning no matter if you are poor or rich, dumb or smart, young or old – you can die in any given moment without any deus ex machina and that is especially true on the battlefield, where people’s profession, hobby and obsession is to kill each other.
It is true, regardless of wars actually – everyone will end up being in a grave(or being cremated), no matter what, so in a way – it does not really mean anything who we are, death will equalize all differences and inequalities.

What the real question here is why we even bother being obsessed to only focus on our inequalities to separate and abuse each other with, when at the end we all hit the dirt the same way anyway. Does not really make sense.
All the experiences of fancy shoes, nice cars, attractive bodies – they mean nothing on the longer term, in the bigger picture, so why everyone is in this mind-frenzy without questioning the meaning of the human condition?

What remains though is the physical consequences of our actions, that is also a true equalizer as well, let’s refer to it as equalizer of life, as it is what it is: everyone equal from the perspective of being here, more or less leaving a footprint to the future before turning into wormfood or grey ash.

I find this as the most important aspect of my life, as I often see it, the ‘human condition’ – as we are gifted with the ability to grasp cause and effect, action and consequence, yet no one really stops to the extent of becoming aware of what it truly means.

This is what I assist and support myself with when facing resistances, distractions, obsessions or even possessions in my own mind-realm, because although all my very personal experiences seem to be so overwhelming and convincing to present themselves as absolute revelation to follow as the law of my beingness in the form of thoughts, feelings and emotions – they are irrelevant to the extent of what is real, priority and true value for all life on earth.

Why? Because It does not matter what I think, what really counts is what I do. And if I keep thinking that my choice is justified to keep entertaining and distracting myself away from all the wrongdoings happening by humanity in this world, I might feel pumped enough to believe that I literally have right to choose not to do anything about all the abuse and exploitation, extermination and enslavement happening every day in the name of free choice, liberty as self-interest.

How easy is to justify that an ordinary human’s life and their every day actions are insignificant and powerless in comparison to the big systems dominating the course and fate of humanity, such as money system, military industrial complex and brainwashing education and media conglomerate being run by sociopaths, automatized by family-providing army of such ordinary people scared of losing monthly salary every day justified by their so called love for their offspring, no matter the consequences.

Each sub-system of earth’s evil conglomerate’s has it’s own role to this and everyone is equally participating, thus being responsible.

Death is indeed an equalizer here, a liberator and revealer to what really matters here, which is the physical, no mind-games or experiences can transcend facts.

The only way to stand up to this consistently fate-sealing, all-annexing inevitable death is simply to realize the even more equalizer truth, the quality what we all bear, carry and represent already, always and unconditionally – that we are life, no matter what.

Death cannot exist without life – what we all need to do is to realize the actually relevant and real aspects of our – in a way, as our current form represents and manifests it: indeed truly miserable and irrelevant existence.

investigate, investigate, investigate

each of us has this mind what play god in our head while the true god is this physical existence, true ruler of life and death, so until we listen to and being mesmerized by our mind, we literally follow a false god, because it’s not real, not here and not even remains after death.

No matter what god anyone thinks of or prays to, all are a facade, a true consequence of our misplaced trust and belief to something completely delusional and selfish.

Let’s look at the sun. Yes, The Sun. It shines, shares, glows, no condition, without it – even if it would stop doing so just for a minute, probably all life here would disrupt and utterly die, no matter what. That can be as a reference for unconditional love, it does not care, radiates everyone.

Let me quote a rainbow hippie song here, just because it’s cute.

Deep inside my heart I’ve got this –
everlasting love
It’s shining –
like the sun
It radiates on everyone

And the more that I give
The more I’ve got to give
It’s the way that I live
It’s what I’m living for

So. I am deliberately wandering away from my usual points just to make the point that when we at desteni say equality – it does not mean we all have to be the same and everyone got equal opportunities, qualities, should get the same salary and stuff. No. What equality means is that everyone equally is an individual and unique expression of life, and although there are many things what we have been manifested as different, there are more major or let’s say true aspects of ourselves what makes us quite as equals. So instead of focusing to our differences, why not to focus to our similarities.

Because if we would do that, then we would all not just realize but truly feel that there are many who do not have a chance on earth to live a life what we would like for ourselves.
And deliberately most of us do not wish that worse life to others, we still are comfortable to accept them to exist in that way.
Poverty, famine, enslavement, abuse, war, rape and murder, extinction and annihilation is the name of humanity currently. Why? Just as with the positive thinking, – what many believe it’s some sort of magic, which is not, but merely a belief system – among all the positivism and super duper thoughts and feelings, emotions – there is enough only one negative to ruin all those positive experiences.

That’s why, it’s fabulous that we have art, beauty and glamour, love and creativity, science and all sorts of achievements, but what can ruin it all is how we treat our true nature, environment, each other and the future. Future as accumulating consequences by our actions every day, hour and minute.

This is what with I encourage myself to step out from entertainment for instance – that it’s just an experience and I start questioning why I would be so distracted or obsessed with feeling good all the time, it just might not to be the case that my original state is some sort of negative?

Anybody and everybody, who needs positive actually has negative already, otherwise would not bother.

So the self-realization means to investigate our condition in the mind consciousness, which is essentially a system, and to dare to reveal, discover the source and origin of these positive and negative judgments, experiences and preferences. Debunking them becomes easy, as a skill as one walks the process of self-forgiveness, to give for myself the chance to recognize what I might be doing by mistake, fear or misunderstanding.

Death is fine by me, but if there is opportunity, I chose to greet it with an impeccable respect to life, all life, because that is how I honor death, by honoring life, which means to not accept anything less than who I really am, my potentials are. And that means work, every day, to find my limits and expand them, because what I believe as a limit, by choice or by consequence, might be self-limitation, self-imagined, thus physically manifested. And that consequence created is being shared with all.

We might experience life through our own separate mind, but in fact on physical we all share the same, that is where we are literally one and equal, so to wander our awareness and discipline, focus and responsibility away from it seems merely ignorant, deluded and completely unfair to be honest.

That’s why I recommend to walk this process, start a blog, if you fear of being judged, start an anonymous one, who cares, just walk the damn process, otherwise you might end up being the same way limited as you were last year, ten years ago, and that’s quite a shame when we age and die without truly living.

I know, depression, burnout and hopelessness, giving up and feeling unfair seems pretty convincing, but until death, there is always way to find your own individual process and standing up. And for that to ask for assistance is encouraged. One humble and curious person will always get all the support of desteni community.

When I was kind of lost and desperate, confused between all the possibilities, convictions and conspiracies of what is really going on here, on earth, I got unconditional support from desteni and with that I am standing up to and as life, and everyone can walk this if they dare to be honest with themselves.

It’s scary because the consequences what have been already manifested are massive, yet what is to realize that life always finds a way, just look at simple seeds and plants – they can grow out from impossible conditions without a doubt.

And when we suggest things such as equal money, it’s not about giving free, supporting the lazy, the abusive or going insane – it’s about being able to give what we would like to receive. There are examples here and there for glimpses of what society could give us, free health care, housing, education and support as birth right. Anyone opposing these only mean that they already got more than most of the others yet they do not wish that for them as well. Sounds strange and the reason for that can be found in their mind, convictions, personality and thoughts, feelings and emotions. That’s why the investigation is suggested.

I can’t investigate your thoughts, my neighbor’s thoughts and realize what’s self-honest, it’s your, their responsibility.
And until you, they do not do that, I am here to share the consequence of such mind what would not give as would like to receive, and that is a problem.

Yet, I can’t really judge anyone else’s process, oh hell, I should not even judge my own process, because judgement means a view of separation, polarity of the mind, thus it’s not true, not real.

I should live and show, teach and support as an example of how to stand up to self-dishonesty and how to change and align with principles of life.

Usually it is not a great thing to walk into other’s life and tell them they are full of sh*t, probably it will end up not really listening to my words, but they will listen to their own reactions and without the ability to reflect and self-investigate, I am more causing problems and distractions than providing solutions.

Yet, I can and should speak up, share and reveal, expose and explain.

There is a lot to understand about life, and death is inevitable, literally we have limited amount of days left, hours, minutes and moments left, so the common sense, the PRACTICAL common sense is to focus to manifest consequences what will leave this place a bit more better than it was when I have arrived. At least that is my calling for now.

Understanding the code of our minds, words is key, and re-definition of them can literally change the world, our own, and everone’s equally.

Enjoy breath

Day 389 – Writing daily is grounding

DSC_0099Today’s realizations

Enough writing about resistances to writing – it’s about walking through the thing step by step. So. Writing. Today. Again.

Sigh. Lot’s of impressions, let’s prioritize. Had some moments of financial confinements and almost feeling like wanting to do(spend) more that I can and had these impulsions to do buy something what is not practical common sense.
What I did was checking all possible angles and to see if there is another way to reduce the cost and still get what I prefer. There was not. So I did let it go.

Another point is to look at – had to re-assess an other financial point and really assisted me to resolve something I was struggling with in the last week.

The point I was facing relates to a ‘feeling’ – from the past wherein I was able to do something and in this situation does not make much sense, yet I wanted the feeling to be available.

  • I commit myself to let go feelings and re-assess everything I decide, experience or get attached to based on feelings, what are merely judgments to experiences and memories and to realize – things can change, so I also should change and not get stuck in the past.
  • I commit myself to do not rely on feelings to be whole and stable but the decision to always be self-honest and if realizing I am not – to dare myself to stop and forgive and re-align and within that to realize that what I lose is merely an experience yet what I gain is self-trust and integrity accumulation.
  • I commit myself to keep walking the process of liberation from feeling energy addiction and to discover the negative experiences of my mind to face and embrace, understand and release – and to realize – all fear relates to self-judgement and thus self-forgiveness of self-judgments is key to releasing self-limitations.
  • I commit myself to keep writing all day I can and not accept justifications and excuses yet not get obsessed with but to apply practical common sense.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get addicted to a feeling and energy experience and within that not realizing that it’s self-created and thus not necessarily supporting me on physical reality level in alignment with what’s best for all participants including myself – but to balance a mind-experience I accept myself to exist within through thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I enjoy letting go ideas and judgements, worries and desires and to see what’s here and trust myself breath by breath.

I also realize that if I do not move and be in and as the physical body – things seem more serious in the mind – thus I also commit myself to move myself, to enjoy myself within those movements, presence and when and as I find myself losing presence, losing breath awareness, losing physical experience, I focus to breathing and moving, expressing and direct living.

I suggest to check out EQAFE – awesome supporting books, audio books, etc

Day 370 – Daily Forgiveness and Walk

P1010668Today just generic Self-forgiveness from this point and see where I move from here.

  • I forgive myself that I have not considered the fact that reality is something what is always here, in and as the physical and if I am not aligned with it in thought, word and deed, I am living in an alternate, virtual, delusional reality and even if I convinced myself that it’s okay to shift back and forth, not realizing that the consequences I create in my separate, personal reality due to the separation experience from reality will inevitably manifest in the reality as well, just more unpredictably, thus determining my actual life to be insecure, uncertain and confusing, because I am not aware of what I actually cause and how – because if I would be, I certainly would consider to stop this madness of self-awareness and would focus to re-align with all life awareness here in and as the physical reality.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that each moment I skip breath as awareness, presence and inner silence of thoughts, feelings and emotions, I stop birthing myself into and as the physical here, thus prolonging my deluded experience of existence through and as the mind consciousness system, because even that I know that the source of the consciousness is the physical, it’s automatism is so ingrained and infested into each moment of my life, that I am being overwhelmed by reactions I did not yet decompose and realize how to prevent participating within.
  • I forgive myself that I have not realized that the strive to do more, be faster, better and just to simply state be and feel, experience – thus pretend – to be more than who I am here today – this is causing me to always strive, be vulnerable to the patterns of insecurity and fear, causing me to skip a breath, because wanting to think the situation I am within through, in order to get by, get through – and not realizing that this abdication of responsibility only leads to time loop and manifesting more consequences, thus more reason to react again to the situation, and if starting to move towards realizing what is actually here in and as the reality, then I would be overwhelmed and would experience instability and intensified fear, thus would want to return to the more stable experience of ‘all right’-type of self-interest, as long as I can keep feeding my mind-possessions of fulfilling my self-created desires and evading to face my fears in a reasonably acceptable rate.
  • When and as I want to do more, want to be more, want to seem more, or to have, feel or experience more than what is here in my direct reality available, I stop and I allow myself to breathe, just breathe, wash away the polarity of my mind-activities and just embrace myself as inner quietness, purely physical being and move myself to directly see, directly feel, directly decide without thinking and if I can’t, then I decompose the patterns I am not aware of to be able to move about.
  • When and as I am walking, I walk here, I focus to the action, the feel, the physical, the breathing, the gravity, the air, the movement, the body, the surroundings and I allow my mind to be quiet.
    I direct myself to have a polarity-free peace while physically moving, as when I move, my mind stops.

As I physically walk, I walk through the mind, I can see the mind, I can feel the mind, but I direct myself to not participate in the mind, not react to the mind, only embracing, understanding and expanding within breathing awareness.

  • When and as I walk, let’s say the hallway at the office I work at – and I catch a little trouble in my mind, such as a thought of something I should do, I should not forget, a worry of something happened/would about to happen, I acknowledge the notion and I move forward.
    I see/realize and understand that within awareness, if I do not seize it with giving the permission and the control to the thinking mind, I can embrace just a little more and more with each breath, this is the real and tangible infinity which awaits to all humans, already today: the liberation with breath through and as understanding, forgiving and embracing the mind to see and understand beyond with practical common sense and that no one knows what’s possible as we have all been limited to our own imagination based on desires and fears we previously could imagine and got stuck with them, thus the realization is to let go all I hold onto and focus to what is here in and as the physical here.
  • When and as I worry about money, not having enough, not being able to afford, pay or sort out something financially, I realize – one breath at a time, and to structure, plan, consider – my proven best practical way is to sit down and write all to a paper/text file and do account all and without any worry influence to make the best practical decision and then plan the solution and move forward and then the end of the day/cycle, to check reality again, commitment and decision too and if required, realign, adjust, change, step back or completely stop – it’s all within self-direction without accepting fear and worry, devotion and desire, but simply as decision as who I am as living life.

Challenging point – the office does not feel physically too friendly – cold-ish, dry air, fluorescent lights – it’s temporally, but I take the challenge as something to enjoy and to see what I can do to support my body, presence and continuous realizations within this environment, what I can actually do to make sure that I can work effectively and efficiently, while considering my body, process and have fun.

Today in the office I was all day in my light jacket and big scarf – it was okay, although I had the thought that I might seem as someone is just arriving or about to leave – that made me smile, although did not really care, as I was enjoying that this gave me comfort. Also – drinking a lot of water – I am quite effective within this, and nowadays, as having the last days of the flu – still needs to hydrate more – so today one of my focus points was to drink enough water, do not feel cold and not get tired – meaning not to fall into the mind-tiredness experience.
It went well, until about 15h – and I realized that I have created the cycle of big break in this period and did not come, and I was seeing that I expect something what does not ‘come’ by itself and that relationship was like a waiting process and within that I was reacting and judging the situation and then I felt a bit of tiredness – not because of the job was exhausting or I actually got tired, but because I stopped self-directing and moving and automatically falling back to the mind-realm, where I am exposed to the needs of energy experiences.
Was fascinating to see that this realization was missing from my inventory – although in theory I knew it since years: it’s not enough to forgive and stop patterns, I actually have to fill up the void with self-movement, self-direction and self-creation in each moments equally, otherwise I stop expanding and the mind is vast, well, limited, but if I stop, I don’t see, I don’t really feel, only through the one dimension of the mind, which can just make me believe that it’s infinite, although it’s just one tiny slice of me. But definitely need to deal with it, otherwise it will always be at my nose – in the way of moving and expanding. Dealing: meaning to understand what that tiny dimension in this situation actually means and why is currently blocking my way to simply live without fear.

Even boredom and tiredness can be backtracked to fear – let’s say it’s a homework. There will be a mind-construct, a timeline of thoughts, reactions, actions and events and somewhere inbetween, one can find that honesty with self – fear. Fascinating. Within the era of human created A.I. – there is so much potential – imagine a self-honest A.I. develops an A.I.

Who said life only can be born from the organic physical? Hehe, will see…

Nonetheless, it’s our call of duty to start living without any lies to ourselves or others.

Consciousness Shift and the Death of the Physical – Life Review

Day 368 – Trust in Self & daily realizations, not Patterns

IMG_5860Whenever I trust within some thought-construct, I have to realize that it’s based on a stretched mind-state, which I require to maintain, ritualistic mind-possession-like time-looping within the same patterns over and over again in order to be convinced and energized to keep up with it.

On the other hand, where I look at things with common sense, I realize patterns, but recognize their situation-specific effectiveness or disadvantage and I release myself from the constant need of always relying on patterns in general, but if practical, still being able to utilize them to apply awareness – so then what I feel is that I am less busy in my head, more ‘out there’, yet from within there is only this creating and expressing from darkness and emptiness of self, which I find as good. Dark: not in the sense of opposite of light, but something from deep within, which until I do not explore, express – it’s unknown.

Good, in a sense of that’s allowing to live this unknown, where I find new qualities, abilities, and indeed, sometimes weaknesses and mistakes to manifest, but I shall not stop to judge, define or start punishing myself, just because it does not seem to work since a while.

Like the children, to learn to stand up, walk and talk – they do not know giving up, it’s just not an option, but to live!

Today I realized this, well, it’s often a sort of organic process, kind of started yesterday, but as writing it down here, it’s being quantified and solidified, crystalized and thus a more aware substantiation: within my job the fact is that when I progress, I feel enthusiastic, when facing difficulties and not progressing, then I feel tired.
So the realization what was obvious today is towards whenever I would start to accumulate resistance, friction and tension by not progressing, to just literally stand up, walk some steps away, make a distance and just breathe and let it go.

This way, I do not give up, but let go the struggle and the pattern I tried to apply yet did not work – and thus to support the realization that I am not progressing, because I have a closed mindset about a conviction or hope which I keep pushing, while it’s obvious that this is not the solution, so I should just step back one and try something else or somehow differently without any frustration to manifest.

Preventing to have experiences of uncoolness literally saves me from the ups and downs and rather be consistent and effective.

And if I don’t know how I will solve the problem I try to figure out – then it does not mean that I do not need to be aware of what I do and why – but about the how: to allow myself to be completely open – and it’s like ideas come from the darkness – nothingness, almost random, but the direction and will supports them to be situation-specific.

Sounds bullshit to be intuitive software engineer for instance, but in a way this can be applied to any kind of job, even the apparently most mundane one.

Also, today, one of the most degrading job I believed to be, cashier in a hypermarket – turned out to be not so much, just because one cashier lady was behaving absolutely the opposite I believed they supposed to be like: she was not dull, impersonal and monotonic, and she taught me that even there one can be present, actually enjoying and supportive(besides allowing one to pay for the grocery).

So all is being decided and often limited within our minds, obviously, thus it’s immensely important to be able to review and re-adjust our thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Yes, emotions as well – no matter how strongly and automatically one can feel about something with full steam of absolute conviction – beyond that there is history, pattern, repeating and some sort of fear – or desire, but that’s again in a way a doubt/fear-based construct if we really decompose it as well.

Also I had a quite supportive and revealing, containing a lot of ideas and points to consider Desteni I Process online course chat with the course’s buddy(person, who is seasoned within self-supporting techniques and self-honesty to support and reflect) – for instance working on patterns within specific areas of my life – turns out that those are existing within apparently unrelated areas of my life.

For instance the resistance to lead and initiate not only within playing music with professionals, but even within partnership or daily jobs or friendships – and these seem so obvious, but it’s different to assume than directly see, being able to take direct notes and specific adjustments to expand.

And I could list several more points I have realized just today and I definitely should as writing literally substantiates the realization and the specificity of how to live that understanding, thus it’s common sense to write and share every day.

So, that’s why – it’s literally each day a full blast of opportunity to realize, learn, let go and grow and writing substantiates and shares it, thus it’s worth doing so.

https://eqafe.com  – the place to learn about self and life

Day 359 – Doors of Hell are Open to Leave

IMG_9559

One more analogy. My last post was about Smart Contract as Self-and Relationship Agreement, today:

Self-dishonesty as Hell

There was a cool statement within one of the Lucifer episodes(TV series) I saw recently.

Lucifer walks Earth and tries to be a good guy, helps the police to find killers. Hehe, kind of a cheesy police procedural with some Gaiman’s Sandman elements played out in L.A.

Lucifer is confronted by a man, who blames him to drove him to do bad things he could never done by himself and then Lucifer says that the truth is that he never did tell or make anyone to sin and he does not decide who goes to hell, humans are being sent there by their guilt and forcing themselves to relive their own sins over and over and over again.

Furthermore he adds this as a funny part: the door is not locked, “you can leave any time you want but no one ever does that”.

If someone ‘gets there’ – although people re-live the bad, it’s often difficult to ‘leave’, even when manifested consequences pretty much paint directly to our face the fact that it’s total crap.

Guilt is an interesting approach: self-blame, self-eating, self-diminishing, self-disempowering loop, what does not lead somewhere supportive.

But what requires guilt to remain?

What I mean ‘remain‘ here is that the nature of life and existence is rolling forward moment-based. One moment comes after another and who we are within each influences who we are within the next one, but actually we are not bound to always remain the same as we are right now. And we certainly don’t, as we create and align to patterns.

Yet with how our relationship with ourselves, external conditions, others have been manifested and evolved, it’s often difficult to change our patterns. Even when the odds are obvious that we should. By no means I generalize here, usually I share about ‘me’ and not ‘we’ – but many might can relate.

Just let’s look at fear, anxiety, frustration – addiction, despair, depression – these are usually not fun, yet what compels me to go back to such self-limiting, self-compromising, self-defeating mind-states?

My own conviction, which might seem like my own guilt-based self-recreational hell actually. If I would not go back to re-rely to define things as before, if I would let that conviction go, I could – maybe – explore new ways to find solutions. But I am so convinced that the one I chose before is the best, even when obviously not, I go back to do the exact same thing again. Insanity.

It’s necessary to understand how consciousness works, how we use and hide behind our mind in order to try not to get stuck and still being lost within these systematic patterns.

Everything creates consequence, some more, some less, but what humans usually don’t tend – or not want – to realize is that even a singular thought, an attention, a reaction to that though is enough to add to some accumulation.

It’s the greatest truth, power and fact within existence – the simplest yet most important mathematical equation what creates and destroys, rules them all: 1+1=2.

Within human mind – the same exists: At each participation, it might adds only one tiny drip into a bucket, but once it fills, it has enough weight/mass to wash away practical common sense for more than moments, maybe minutes, even hours.

And during that time, what I do, think or feel – will create more reaction, accumulate more consequences, often regrettable, irreversible ones.

Then it’s really difficult looking back to see – this is what I did, – again – and not to define and accept that ‘this is who I am’. Even denial does not help, especially if it keeps happening. It’s kind of an art – to embrace the facts, yet not to define as this is who I am and thus have to remain as.

An example – if I don’t do something I want – every day – becomes a pattern. I can justify it, I can resist it, I can become frustrated; the reality is that I break out from it or not. If I break out by generating secondary reactions-energy by self-judgement, frustration, and then I am energized to change – which is then temporally and once fades, I return to the previous behavior as without the lifting/empowering energy I fall back to the original pattern. So in this sense I did not really change – what happened was that my mind needed a secondary pattern to control the primary.

Imagine many-many layers of such for dozens of dimensions and we get a picture of a human mind consciousness system’s strategy to contain a person’s life.

And what’s within is what’s without – as above so below – similarly manifested patterns, systematic if-then rule sets are driving the whole world system.
Is it enslavement by an external ruler? Might be that the system was placed to lure/trap beings into such systematic existence, but the fact is that the doors are not locked – anyone can walk out from these patterns and some do. Takes effort, but worth it.

What humans use? Words – building blocks of worlds. Polarity is merely a concept, yet based on self-interest – it’s subjective.

It’s important to understand that anything apparently ‘good’ can be twisted and used by the mind – even when we believe that we ‘fight’ for good – fight means conflict, separation, friction, energy – it’s not direct self living, it’s through the mind and to trust the mind is very-very risky. And many know that – if I fight – I might lose – thus choose to give in, give up, suppress, postpone and distract. Just this still creates: energy somehow somewhere in the mind/body. What accumulates.

The more I suppress – the more energy/conflict I create, the more emotional reaction I accumulate, and then it becomes automatic – and no matter if on the next day/week I am a new man, as all the patterns in my mind are also here – I click/react/move automatically. Can I directly change my own patterns? Some yes. Some, as I am not aware of, by default: no.

And that’s a humans personality basically, just hundreds, thousands of those patterns – and many are connected, related, and there are so many, and a lot happens even on a singular day, it’s becoming difficult to keep being aware of them all.

Especially when I am in emotional reaction, being angry, fearful – does not really help to stay on tracking reality awareness, the mind works faster, a lot of thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, associations, body energetic experiences: it’s just overwhelming – and then more and more of this happens, year after year I end up not being aware of the patterns exactly, how they connect, but in fact I am aware of them, just everything triggers and manifests so fast ‘in real time at situations’ – that I am – again – and always – so busy with the reaction what is being triggered, what I experience, what I will do next, so then I don’t look back, where this comes from.

It’s almost like as I age, constantly and quite quickly walking into experiences, imagining that I am this director of my life’s movie, meanwhile I am literally consistently falling into the next set of patterns and reactions, convictions, judgements, beliefs, thoughts, feelings and emotions animating me to move and react accordingly.

Objectively looking, even those, who somehow are manifested to go through mostly positive memories and experiences – often their life is quite preordained and so easily could be de-railed with some sort of intervention, thus although a human mind consciousness system is well-preprogrammed, yet being so fragile to change and stimulation.

Of course, there are always exceptional individuals, whose life seem so perfect, effective and extraordinary, but isn’t it also part of the trap for others, an un-achievable inspiration as that really can help to screw the mind: knowing that there is this perfect love, absolute fame, genius mind – that many comparing their life with they literally keep fighting for or giving up and not realizing that this whole system can be considered as hell.

Just like in a casino – many bet with their money and only a handful wins – yet everyone keeps fighting to be the winner, no matter the costs, because of their mindset and the survival of the fittest.

There is no real unconditional compassion, consideration, ‘humanity’, ‘love’ within the currently manifested cannibalistic capitalistic monetary/world system, just constant fight and struggle. Anyone denies it is still mesmerized by their own mind-bubble, which eventually will burst. Maybe only at death, but still. The world is an accumulated consequence, sins of our fathers, does not really matter how we call it, it’s really hell for most of us – not only humans, but animals, plants, the whole ecosystem.

The potentials are great, yet the reality is quite sad by looking at the big picture. Which is always an accumulated reflection/consequence of the individual contributions.

Why not everyone lives to their own possible best potentials and focusing on self-honesty, self-perfection, self-direction without inner conflict, without self-limiting patterns?

It’s not that difficult once one understands how the mind works, thus the education and self-learning is crucial here.

I used to study philosophies, psychology, eastern and western teachings, techniques, spirituality and many of those has some useful information, yet the most direct and fastest way to transcend self-dishonesty, thus being able to transform hell to heaven, here on earth, in the flesh is by walking a process of Self-honesty and Self-forgiveness.
Although techniques and strategies might differ from individual to another, but being honest with myself and to forgive what I have accepted and allowed to become, manifest and participate within: are universal aspects of Self as Life as who we all are, thus highly recommended to start understanding, applying and living.

EQAFE, DesteniIProcess and SelfAndLiving are the best places to start this process of realization, understanding of not only historical, theoretical but actual practical knowledge of how to understand Hell as the manifested patterns of our self-limiting mind, as Self-dishonesty to be able to give for ourselves a new opportunity, a change to grow without the time loop of self-sabotage.

Within EQAFE there are many-many topics and series, various areas of the mind, consciousness, the creation to understand, so then we becoming able to grasp what words we allowed ourselves to define us and that we can decompose those definitions and re-define in accordance of self-honesty and what’s best for all life.

Desteni I Process online courses (the first half year is free, with experienced buddy support, the others require some money as the trainers also have to live in this world) provide structured approach to learn the basic skills what are necessary to be able to investigate our own life to be able to overcome the weaknesses what have been pulling us down throughout the years and many are very personal – addictions, shyness, shame, regret, fears, phobias, unrealistic desires – it’s possible to self-heal.

Self And Living is a direct approach on focusing how to LIVE every day life, by looking at topics, such as living the words dedication, courage, points to consider about eating, sleeping, enjoying moments.

Desteni Forum to discuss with others about questions, answers and sharing in a structured way – ask your questions, answer others, socialize, share, enjoy!

Destonians.com / Journey to Life
to see what others who are sharing their insights, realizations, difficulties, solutions within blogs/vlogs.

There are a LOT more tools, groups and points are existing to start this indeed extraordinary journey to stop accepting self-limitation and start living – and any social media can/should be perfect to start sharing, asking, communicating and expanding.