About Feeling upset/hurt and reactive – which means a give up experience I see within and not liking it, and feeling bad about not doing and/or feeling that can’t do anything about it.
Well, not literally a give up experience, rather as a thought pattern and results in some fear of loss, fear of failure, a doubt, but it is rare and it relates to the changes I committed myself to live in my life as facing unknown, it’s not specific, in this sense in regarding to my decisions, actual commitments, this worry is not ‘personal’. It’s just mind stuff.
Although the specific reaction I participated within, that can’t be more personal.
How not react to this inner consequential outflow but focus to what I can act, prevent and solve is the topic today.
Not to react – yet – not to suppress either is also key, but that I will continue with later.
I have watched a film character review video essay on ‘James Bond’. Kind of silly, as whatever that character does in any of the Bond films is obviously pre-scripted, specialists worked for years on how he should act, react, not act or not react, how to move, what clothes to wear, what and how to say, etc.
But there was a great point in the review video, which I express here as it is related to what re-design of myself I am working currently with.
“How James Bond is the man of Action, but also he is the man of Inaction. He is unreactive, whenever his life isn’t immediately in danger. Bond doesn’t waste energy on needless anger, frustration, threats or worry. If he can change something to his benefit, he’ll act, otherwise, he just moves on. This makes sure that he doesn’t get stuck in his head reliving past mistakes or worrying about the future….What action needs to be taken to shift things?”
Within my process I realized similar to become effective. Well, the video explains it as starting point of ‘charisma and be liked’ – for me that’s not the point, but to trust myself and don’t go to reactions but to solving with direct actions.
Reaction, as ‘activity’ – well, more literally it’s ‘passivity’ – when I am emotionally reactive to the fact that I feel that I have no power to solve something I do not like, and thus I focus to the reaction, instead of trusting myself and to do to something to change the outcome, give myself the power to be able to solve the problem.
Someone insults me and I react – why? In this sense, until there is no actual threat – why to waste any energy?
Unreactive is a cool word in this sense.
Just look at little children – when they learn to walk – they fall and maybe cry, but then they keep learning and falling, and eventually will be able to walk – they don’t focus too much on reacting to a mistake meanwhile – they just move on. Great example.
- I forgive myself that I have ever wasted any moment to go into emotional reactions and stop expressing, stop moving, stop trusting my actions and to focus to and go into the deep pits of my mind, instead of applying the ‘just do it’ with self-directed physical and presence, reality and circumstances-awareness.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized each and every single time when I am becoming reactive, emotional, going into worry, fear that at that moment I am delving into a ‘give up’ experience, and that I actually recognize and I start reacting to – thus I do not focus to the original point, but how I judge that according to my past, conclusions, convictions, memories, values, previously accepted and lived out fears and experiences.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that within the moment of slipping into emotional reactions I have the opportunity and authority to snap out of it, and directly see the problem and to immediately act for the solution – and if it is not clear what action that might be, then the immediate action is the investigation, or making notes, or looking at surrounding ‘points’, things to understand in order to support the solution.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that each and every single time I give into fear and worry, a ‘reactive’, emotional negative experience, I am creating myself as this self-acceptance for giving up in relation to fear itself, and the point I connect with fear, as powerlessness, as doubt, as self-sabotage, and all the accumulation within grows and to be able to stand up to, I should accumulate the same with self-direction, stopping, assisting myself to come back, not give into fear, worry, hope, but to look what actions I can do here, today, tomorrow and do it, and if seems too difficult, instead of fearing and doubting, to look at how can I ask for support, assistance as realizing that it’s not about me, me, me, but the problem and it’s solution.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that resisting to ask for support based on fear of becoming vulnerable and weak is not valid as it also can happen that while accepting support I learn something and expand, so thus, next time I will be able to do it myself, and within this ‘I want to be independent, solve alone’ arrogant and ego-state of mind, in fact I am still within fear, which is not the most effective way, and then I shall ask that what’s more important here, me, and my righteousness, or solving the things ahead, which might involve others as well, and within that I only give more opportunity to not solve and then later more self-judgement to blame myself and justify why I need to fight more, alone, to another forms of vicious self-eating cycles, instead of just focus to what’s the best common sense option and go for it without hesitation.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that if I am not in immediate physical danger, there is no point to really take it personally and seriously to a way, when I should justify to get emotional and reactive, and if it is indeed life-threatening point I am facing, then anyway no point, time and reason to get into emotions, but immediate action, so it is to realize, I have to stand up to be able to say no and stop participating within reactions and to apply all efforts to actions.
It is possible to re-wire one’s behavior and personality and that self-transformation is simple, doable for anyone with simple steps and it’s extraordinary how much we can change within ourselves, and then living that among others as well, to be able to feel more directly, to enjoy and learn, expand and grow more freely and naturally. Supporting myself fruits supporting others more effectively as well, thus it’s indeed the best common sense decision and motivation to do a little bit of self-investigation and re-alignment here and there.