Day 330 – Directing Self-change

What I find as crucial within directing self-change and literally facing the unknown within (myself) and without(in the world) is to establish direct self-communication, self-honesty and self-agreement.
Since about 2 weeks, I’ve stripped away myself from about 2/3 of my habits I’ve participated before. Well, it’s still within finding balance and evaluating what’s still relevant and what was due to distraction and avoidance and it’s genuinely an enjoyment to find the values, interests and motivations within the activities I still do, plan to continue or going to introduce.
What’s clear is that there are no addictions, frustrations, worries, anxieties or fears surfacing, that is due to the exceptional support I’ve got and walked myself equally from DesteniIProcess online course and the individuals of the community.
It’s truly inspiring to see others also to walk their self-change into reality, wherein they stop various emotional, mental and even physical problems with walking the same blog/vlog and self-forgiveness, self-commitment, self-corrective statement structure within consistently.
Also relevant to note that I’ve been living in a quite of a defensive mechanism before, which I am releasing and letting go, especially in relation to allowing myself to feel, express and enjoy; trust, share and directly live and for that I am honored and grateful for my partner.
Furthermore, to face and direct self within change, by my recent participation within this year’s European Desteni Meetup, I’ve got support for my being/mind/body ‘unification’ by spending time with Sunette Spies, who greatly assisted me to bring up the points I really needed to hear:
To purify, re-define and live the words of planning, consideration, structure, organize and stability, while to enjoy, express and also to have fun!
After all, what is the self-change I am directing? Exactly to live these words! I see some points within myself as I’ve been stuck since quite a while, but did not consider before that it’s because I was not structuring, planning and considering within the context of REALITY AWARENESS.
I used to – unconsciously – trust within my gut, the system, others, which was an inverted way to hide from ‘LACK of SELF-TRUST‘, due to not being stable, not enjoying myself and the directions I’ve managed to find myself within and in overall the suppression of my natural self-expression due to fear from manifesting irreversible consequences.
Writing this blog, to see what I am still holding within my mind, the points, that are not ‘here’ – not ‘supporting’ and not ‘really relevant’ – and then to apply self-forgiveness is greatly assisting to be exactly aware of my reality within and without as well.
Since a while, as being in a relationship, starting to see that I am beyond my previous partnership, certainly, also in relation to the points I’ve faced about myself with the individual who I was with, but the actual points, issues I was not taking responsibility for are still ‘waiting’ to be lived within self-correction and self-change.
For instance, providing stable support, reliability, trust, honesty, loyalty and to direct open and effective communication are key within establishing a mutually supportive and greatly enjoyable agreement/partnership.
By walking DIP Agreement course (http://desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships) – I was supported to go through many of the aspects of a honest and supportive relationship already, but all the realizations, acknowledgements, decisions I’ve made are now, in a way ‘ready to be lived’.
Of course, being flexible and not getting lost on the path by also being aware of the principle and direction(be kind with each other and give as would like to receive within equality and oneness, investigate all things and keep what is best for all participants) – it’s every day something to face, correct and expand with.
Beyond the structure, planning and all the stabilization, which I’ve postponed already too long, so actually enjoying to do nowadays, considering an also very important aspect: to have fun and enjoy.
Previously I’ve easily managed to stop having fun by bothering myself with problems, what I did not take responsibility for, and instead of focusing to solution, I’ve reacted, spent time within frustration or becoming obsessed with some perfection in my mind, completely unrelated to reality – it’s actually no fun.
But to realize that it’s all up to me and thus I can change my attitude, starting point and expression: it’s something I am honored to do with the motivation for something greater than me actually, as there are others in my life, which again: supports with stabilization of the mind, equalization for the excitement from word-emotion-energy-based automatic triggers towards self-honest movement-based physical expression.
This is where I am currently, and thanks for reading.
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