Day – 289 – Breathe, like never before


Anybody can find explanations of the rewards of ‘be with and as breath here‘, to stabilize oneself from the busy life we constantly chase(or being chased by) every day.

There is this comic guy(recently in movies too), Hulk, who is constantly getting angry and when he really does, he transforms into a huge, strong, raging green monster what cannot be stopped from mass destruction all over.

I could compare myself and in fact all humans to this example of what’s happening in our minds, wherein if I am not applying the breath here, I am getting into my mind and thus more and more separating my perceived experience and expression from the physical body, presence, direct HERE-ness, from where actually reality, the others, animals, plants, the whole planet is.

Through my mind’s interpretation I am individual, separated and have my own interest to take care for, a consciousness system, which have been evolving since long-long time and has been mesmerized with knowing and understanding, which should be questioned, as not being actually true.

Through the mind’s interpretation, which is similar to science, it’s always relying to observation influenced by the observer, even if we directly participate within experiences, then often afterwards defining, judging, categorizing, labelling, conditioning, relating and systematizing, well: quite automatically.

Live and trust in and as the moment, the now and give up fear and even hope and you find deeper understanding” is a typical new age slogan, probably 3/4 of any book store has at least one spirituality shelf of these suggestions, however when an ordinary human tries to apply this simple direction; well, even that attempt will mostly ‘happen‘ through and as this mind consciousness system, based on initial judgement, desire, fear or hope, which is not beyond polarity, infested with pure self-interest.
Sounds harsh, to label ‘goodwill‘ people as of imbued with self-interest, but the equation is simple to measure facts: am I standing up to all as equal as one as life here unconditionally, or I am only investing care into selected ones by my disregard ‘in the rest’?

Let me further specify by explaining ORDINARY here by defining what is beyond that: it takes extraordinary applied amount of self-honesty to not only consider to live really free in the moment according to my interest only, but also finding and living the practical ways to take responsibility for all we can live up to.
To face each and every single judgement, desire, fear and hope one can find within self to be able to not just understand, but understand deeply and detail-specifically enough to be aware of why it’s self-delusion to exclude, to justify, to accept such a limitation, the self-dishonesty, so then it would come as practical common sense to naturally make the decision and stand to stop and change.

The importance here is the specificity and the consistency, because it’s not possible to let go or stop something within me what I am not aware of, or not aware of the details of it, the very creation and in fact re-creation of how I am responsible for this particular self-limitation.

That’s why I have found the spiritual ways as flawed, imperfect and in fact deceiving, because they all praise about the great things, but their methods are biased, infused with polarity, self-separation, or if not, then they mostly lack specificity.

There are ‘ways’, when they focus on ‘not to think’, ‘for body awareness’, or even utilizing philosophical logic to mentally overcome constructs in the mind, and I am sure there are cool ways, what can be proven to be effective and supporting, however I consider myself lucky as already found a group, courses and a community where the mind, self and creation can be studied, applied and shared within a disciplined, principled, consistent, stable and accumulative, thus measurable way within self-honesty.

Self-honesty is the compass which through I can sail through all the inner and external constructs of reality without losing direction, integrity and stability, because it can be very simple, if I commit myself to not lie to myself any more.

It does not mean it’s going to be easy, especially by considering to face all previously accepted limitations to become aware of, the consequences and the actual responsibility to take to really change.

I find this quality, skill and natural expression of common sensical self-honesty to be extraordinary if lived directly in the ‘moment’, in the flesh without the interpretations, categorizing and biased starting points from the logical, conscious mind.

It’s like I am becoming aware of my human physical body, as a living organism, made of physical substance, which is awareness, life itself and the moment I stop separating myself from ‘it’ – I am starting to explore a more direct way to live.

Yes, it’s more vulnerable as well, because I do not feel myself as separated as through the many layers of the mind, thus pain can be more direct and real, but also enjoyment and self-expression too.

And it’s not just about the body, such as one then goes to workout or to ‘know kung fu‘. It requires more than that, the full beingness, not just to disregard the mind, but to embrace it, to understand it’s limitations and to walk with and through them, by understanding who I am today and how I can have much more potential if not limiting myself with specific fears, desires.

Even if, let’s say I focus on sports, physical activities, dance, martial arts, but with the starting point of ideas, expectations, desires, fears, superimposed, inflated, infused with thoughts, feelings and emotions, energetic experiences, then although I might become skilled, more directive, agile, strong, fast and powerful – I am still not the ONE breath, but utilizing it, instead of BE with and as the body and thus this is still not AWARENESS, but only programmed consciousness.

See, consciousness is a limited system, although it’s very sophisticated, and humanity’s current ‘character’ is still identifying itself with it, that is not self-honest and neither our fullest potential. Rather it’s a manifested consequence of all the decisions, actions and perceptions we ended up with through the idea of separation, self-dishonesty and abdication of self-responsibility as collective of individuals, all as equal as one.

This means that we are unable to really see, feel and be aware of what is really here, because we are actually not HERE with our breath, with the substance as awareness directly, but we USE, SUPPRESS or CONTROL our breath, our body, our perceptions of who we think we are, but within that not realizing that the mind consciousness must be investigated, understood and have to let go.

Although it might seem as impossible to exist without thinking, without this apparent ‘gift’ of comprehending with thoughts, duality of positive and negative, the abstraction and virtual imagination, the conscious mind is very limited within it’s own design and we do not see it as we are conditioned to see through and as it, therefore the only way to debunk, expose and reveal it’s limitation is by applying self-honesty within the active research of how we actually operate on daily basis.

To be honest with myself within situations where I can directly see why I react like this, what is the reason I said that, felt this way, and to question: am I limited, am I lying to myself in order to not take responsibility for the possible best outcome within a situation to avoid consequences I perceive as unwanted?

All the thought patterns, thinking, judgement, comparison, association and vivid imagination is to justify what I experience, say and do, and no matter what, I am right. Or if not, then to explain why not.

Or to explain why not being right about why I am not right. Or whatever, it is the web of justifications and excuses by the total hypnosis of self-interest what I am being imprisoned within, compelled by the horror of fear of loss, regardless of it’s scale – from the fear of losing my ‘positive experience induced by not having pain’, or ‘fear from being homeless’ to ‘fear from losing my sanity’, ‘fear of my family would get hurt’, ‘my child would think I do not love him if I don’t do this or that’, or whatever one can identify as ‘fear losing’ or ‘fear to experience’.

For me, interestingly the fear of failure, fear of eternal fall, the fear from insanity and the fear from running out of time was mostly prominent, this might vary for everyone, but the basic construct is the same for all. Also the physical reactions, the energetic experiences, the internal or external trigger points what with we can be conditioned to automatically react. That one has to be specifically aware of, to become ‘more fast’ than the mind, to be able to breath presence and awareness before the automated reaction, what would make one to be trapped into an endless loop of ‘groundhog day’.

During self-inducing and experiencing fear, I am suppressing to BE breath, I am listening to the thought, inducing this energetic experience of anxiety, fear, which then can easily can escalate into anger, hatred – regardless of it’s target – myself or others, imaginary(religion for instance) or physically existing beings.

Interestingly, even desire can become a manifestation of fear, when for instance I am totally preoccupied, possessed by wanting something or someone, fear from losing, wherein in fact I might just fear from facing myself ‘losing’ what I defined that I would not like, because the resulting experience for me would be somewhat uncool, or my self-identification to oppose something perceived as negative is relying to my maintained relationship to the subject of my desire; therefore it’s in my interest to not to lose that subject of my desire. Many can declare this as some sort of love, but I’d rather not do that.

Many people can find themselves among so many manifested consequences what are not so good for them, for others around them, and thus can decide or being pushed to some kind of re-mediation, recovery or re-alignment, with what somehow can find a better quality of living in terms of becoming more simplified without so many fears and desires, endless rushes of thoughts and up-and down waving emotional storms. Often people has to fall, hit the ground, rock bottom hard to realize, but some also can figure it out – it does not matter on the greater scale, but on individual level, sure.
Even our mind’s self-limited pre-programmed setup is on the exact level of those manifested consequences and self-dishonesties we accepted and allowed, thus everyone should embrace that without judging or start comparing one’s own process of self-realization, because some walks slower, some might have to get more punches, but we all walk the same, so one should focus on self first, and when finding balance, stability, integrity to start sharing and dealing with external responsibilities, what definitely will appear, once one starts to grasp self-direction within effective and aware breathing.

See, breathing is not just a tool what can be applied to stabilize, calm and re-align our mind to presence, but breath is the most direct and immediate link to what it means to really live here. The art is not within equalizing the mind, but to see, feel, and experience beyond it’s limitations, which is, quite frankly: most liberating.
So it’s time to reveal, decompose and let go any definitions, judgments, comparisons, reactions in relation to breath, breathing, presence, the physical and especially expose and transcend any inferiority/superiority construct about consciousness versus physical and to be able to embrace, direct, express and live self as one here as equal with breath.

I will continue to explore about breathing as what’s better than explaining the process? Walking, sharing and living it!

In the meantime I suggest to create some minutes for self to just be, breathe and observe the mind, not to resist or fight it, but also not to get directed by it. And it’s cool if one makes notes, writes down observations, insights, because writing is really supporting if applied within self-honesty, meaning I write about myself, not the neighbor, the prime minister or the girlfriend. Those can be trigger points maybe for my experiences, reactions, but the only way to gain directive power if I work with what’s here: self.


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