Day 244 – Driving car Self-forgiveness opening

Judgements while driving. Let’s open it up and to see where it goes…
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people based on how fast or slow they drive, that is how I perceive as limiting me, for instance if someone drives slowly, defining the person as an old dude, or a lady with kids or when a person drives really fast, considering to be a thug or someone, who is a professional driver, who I should support for overtaking me, whenever he/she seems to approach faster than I am traveling and within those judgements to realize that I find reasons why to accept differences, what are completely made up , assumptions, just to keep me reacting, wondering, thinking, instead of always applying common sense and to see what is safe and supportive and to express that unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a tension building up within me whenever I know I could drive faster, but someone is in front of me driving really slowly and I can’t overtake her-him safely, because I feel like I am being obstructed and I feel like I am wasting time and within that to think about how it is just merely minutes I can win with the cost of taking much more risk of safety by overtaking quickly and to always think about that, when I feel that I have to move slower than I could drive or usually I can drive there faster.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remain here in the moment without categorizing, judging, going into belief, opinion and justify it with that it’s effective, supporting and/or entertaining because believing that to be here, present, directive would require energy and to produce that I have to stimulate myself instead of realizing that I can live without mind-energy, I can act without thinking and I can directly feel without feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I’ve created the idea of patience based on rules in order to justify my self-interest while driving, such as to be patient to expect others to be patient as well, however there are hundreds of thousands of drivers out there and it’s unpredictable of what kind of people I meet and how they will act, so if I react to different types of people with different personality-characters, then I am not consistent, I am dependent on what circumstances I drive into meanwhile I am not constantly here, but going into reactions and losing moments, seconds not being here, what is not supportive, because within driving many things can happen in one second, where a horrible accident can be prevented with a single movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to force myself to constantly focus while driving and wanting to act very quickly and not realizing that if I am constantly here, it does not take time to react to things and mostly it’s not about how quick I am, but how consistently I am present to see when to do things to prevent going into dangerous situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to categorize when I have to focus or not focus while driving instead of simply being here constantly and apply myself as required based on common sense and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have exceptional reflexes and good driving skills and not considering the statistics that about 70% of the drivers usually believe that, which means that it might not be the case, so to boost driving confidence based on a believe, opinion, perception is not common sense and self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why I think or want to think that I am good driver, with outstanding reflexes and abilities to drive instead of simply be the driver I am and if necessary, then specifically develop, expand, learn skills to improve based on common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am good with driving, because being able to move quickly and being able to use my logic, thinking quickly and also being able to do juggling well and having the ability to learn things naturally and not realizing the starting point, the need for building confidence based on perception instead of real, physical, practical experience and living knowledge, which takes time and effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my perceived reflexes and abilities to drive and quickly react to situations by comparing myself to an old men or ladies who I see also driving, so judging myself as at least I am able to drive as them and they seem alright, so I must be also and meanwhile not realizing that it’s based on worry and fear that I might not be alright in driving, what wanting to shift in perception by judgements and positive/negative feelings/emotions in my mind and not realizing that it’s a generic human behavior, to alter and tune perception based on energetic reactions in the body and the mind from feelings/emotions triggered by specific thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have the tendency to react and follow certain thought processes without realizing that I am going into reaction, listening to the thoughts regardless of where I am, what I am within or who I am with and during that my attention, my beingness, focus and presence is divided, which causes the already pre-programmed personality aspects of myself to be more automatic and raising the chance that I am not going to be conscious, aware of why and exactly what I participated within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stimulate myself into an alertness and focus while driving by imagining how horrible an accident can be if I would cause one, such as hitting someone or crashing the car or causing expensive and annoying problems in the car, so then based on that worry I boost my presence and not realizing that it’s based on fear instead of building self-trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think how my friends would react in a situation while I am in a situation, which is learning by example, for instance when a friend wants to drive quickly meanwhile someone is slow in front of us for a reason and my friend becomes impatient and then with emotional charge he shouts up like “I can’t believe this!!!” or “This can’t be true!!!” and in that moment I directly see that he went into a micro-possession based on ideas projected into reality by him and when he is facing facts he experiences friction and reacting with annoyance and anger and in fact he is angry to himself but projected out to the other, stranger driver and the situation and the inability to move faster – and within all of this seeing, I still can catch myself to just think about that and it’s already a phase of imprinting, because at first I think about this and I even smile how funny is that he is ‘losing it’ for a moment, but in fact I cover up that I had the same emotional experience for a moment and if I continue to accept myself relating, reacting the same way, I program it into my body/beingness/consciousness to act it out later.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have two modes within driving, traveling with car, such as present, polite, patient and then when being jumpy and wanting to move faster, becoming impatient and not realizing that within the second I can have the tendency to become overconfident and not directing myself and the car as equal and one, meaning I start believing that I can manage to drive the car I want to instead of not just knowing, superimposing it, but actually doing it, but as I grow impatience, I want to move faster and within that emotion I can disregard all the necessary practical skills to use what necessary to completely be aware of where is the car, how it’s going and what’s going to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify to not needing to be completely aware of how the car moves and where exactly is going by simply believing that all I need to do is to look to a direction and push the gas and the car will go there and my body will know it, which is not always applicable but I have to look, check, move my body, look around and slow down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others within my driving, traveling speed based on how I perceive and judge others around me and thus becoming conditional of how much things I take granted and building up this belief that it’s part of the etiquette and politeness to not make others wait and not considering that the most important responsibility I have is to do all what’s necessary to prevent danger and accident, which if means slowing down, even if somebody else would grow impatience, it’s still common sense and the best for all and within that it’s not my responsibility to not trigger emotion-jumpy people.

These things could go on and on and on, so I stop here and will continue  s o o o o o n . .

Meanwhile I suggest to check out the EQAFE Phobias – Car crash series to support stopping any fear influencing actual skills – it’s awesome!

Here is example of the audio book:

And here is the link for the audibooks