Days ago, while I was showering I realized that I was thinking and as I looked that process, I was busy thinking about information I already know and tried to stimulate myself with impressions, reactions about it, which then triggered another thought-processes and all of a sudden I was here again.
I have seen what I actually was participating within when I fall into the temptation of thinking in general.
It’s more obvious when I do something meanwhile, which is mostly the case, in this particular moment I was washing my body parts while enjoying the hot water in the cold, foggy autumn morning.
The fact is that I already KNOW all of these things I think about, I am just not aware of them, because allowing myself to be constantly occupied with these reactions of thoughts, feelings, emotions, which creates a tube experience, a time line, wherein it’s like I am riding, but in fact I am completely narrowed down to a tumbling experience, be with only one point at a time, allowing my mind to determine which, based on the previous thoughts, what are being triggered by external settings and an internal set.
By literally thinking about what already happened, what I should do, what I should have done, what would be cool, in fact I am diminishing my presence, within each moment: the only chance to be fully HERE.
This preoccupation is what can block me from being aware of all of me, who I am and what is constantly HERE.
That’s why it is imperative do decompose these automatic thought-patterns what actually hide self-judgement, projection, blame, justification, opinion, desire, self-interest and in fact separation and fear – all hiding from mySELF.
Separation is within me by believing that the moment of me showering is less than when I do something more meaningful, however if I would look at all things I do, it’s quite useful and necessary to take a shower and if I am not here with my body, that’s actually a problem.
I allow this to be formed as a habit, and I let go the discipline, the actual statement and living of I am HERE – and this brings also a great question: why I need to be disciplined not to fall into the temptation of my energetic mind experiences?
What I experience lacking constantly here? What I perceive gaining with the energy? Why do I not have enough energy? Endless energy? What makes me feel tired? These questions are valid, especially while one accepts and re-creates self-limitation by being constantly preoccupied with thought-patterns.
This might seem to be as an advanced topic to fully understand, but greatly rewarding once one can see, realize and understand that there is immerse self-abdication happening completely automatically during the thinking process(back chat, inner dialogue, judgmental notes).
Also to believe that, when it is necessary, like driving in highway with 160km/h, that then the thinking will not ‘occur’ – or as humans like to refer this point as ‘when I think about something’, but it’s not that simple. Once a thought-pattern is accepted and repeated enough, it is the flesh, the human physical body is what starts to store and become these word-based energetic resonances and that means only more integration, self-accepted automation.
Also as it might seem as advantage if I am doing something while being able to think about something, but here is also the saying can be applied: divine and conquer. Especially, the point of decision one can believe that can be trusted: when I apparently ‘decide’ to switch into thinking mode – because I am sure many justify that as a conscious choice, but it is simply not.
Do not believe me, obviously this is something what everyone must investigate, but I really suggest doing so. This might shatter one’s perception about self, the world, but beyond that, there can be a more ‘real’ perspective, something what does not require the mind for keeping up for instance.
I walk the Desteni I Process online course, and within the second year, there are specific lessons/assignments what supports to discover and be able to understand the patterns of the human mind – it’s totally astonishing to recognize that within a simple interaction between people in some minutes, how many judgement, belief, projection, blame, opinion, comparison, manipulation can ‘hide’ literally in front of our eyes, what the human is not trained to be aware of. That’s why it’s imperative to learn how to walk the physical time within self-honesty and how to apply self-forgiveness for the points what are of self-interest.
So the understanding of self, the human mind and thus humanity as well goes more and more deep as one dares to question one’s life, for instance if I am preoccupied with thoughts which I recognize as a disadvantage(because I am able to go back the source, the origin point step by step and I see the fear, separation, self-interest), then I would want to stop the thoughts. That can be also a point of falling, when one realizes that those just won’t go away by wanting them to be gone or even not with years of practicing the silence within, especially with those patterns what are already programmed into the flesh so to speak. Those are what making the body react automatically.
There are ways when someone does not need to think yet being capable of doing something really self-dishonest, abusive, spiteful, so it’s not enough to quiet the mind, because there are patterns already in and as the body. Like riding a bicycle or driving a car – once it’s a skill, the body can do it, the pedaling, the steering… Yet, in the beginning there was a sort of disciplined programming.
It seems to be like luck – if I am lucky, I am doing good(based on family, finance, location, time, relationships for instance), if not, then not so good. One might can accept that and justify it with a ‘greater plan’, religious belief, karma instead of realizing the opportunity to change self in every moment equally.
Even if I do not see it as writing computer codes and mathematical equations, simple word-based rule sets can drive machines, there is the vast topic of ‘fuzzy logic’ and ‘artificial intelligence’ as a reference to grasp.
The definition of words, the self-accepted relationships between them holds the key for freedom, once one is learning and living the skills of self-honesty and mind-word-energy-decomposition. Writing is essential, because slowing down, with computer term: ‘serializing’ the words and attention, presence and direction – I am more aware of what I actually consist of in terms of the words I live through.
It’s simple point of education – there is still rare that this is being taught, but there are more and more people who decide to self-study this and apply in the change what is required to be more here, present, directive and in fact self-honest.
The human is result of education, and that is an important aspect within changing ourselves, our children, the whole world.
That’s why it is important to realize that thinking is a result of a flawed self-trust, an energetically unbalanced self, but within this current society, thinking is not being recognized what actually is: self-limitation and self-deception.
The only way to be able to trust oneself in and as the mind when being fully aware of what’s in there, what’s really happening and being able to direct self within with each breath with consistency – otherwise it’s a roller-coaster – will make ups and downs.
Once somebody recognizes that there are patterns already automatically being operational within one’s personality, character, perceptions and behavior, there is the question is that ‘How can I remember how and why I’ve became who I am today?’ How could I forGET? What I’ve GOT was the blissful ignorance and what I can GIVE to myself is the painful awareness of what I accepted and allowed myself to became. That is why to forGIVE myself. Simple yet extremely powerful.
If someone thinks a lot – does not act, because being consumed by fear – looking for better angles IN the MIND while moments pass, energy tides, MAKES one to act, while they will be always one step behind of what is actually HERE.
There was a time when I was only be able to let go the constant thinking when there was immense fear of immediate danger, which drove me into adrenaline-pumping experiences, because energy charged, from a point it ‘pushed’ me, driven me, but I was dependent – once the energy was off, I stopped moving – and in fact as my energies raised and lowered out of my awareness, direction, I felt unstable, I could not accumulate self-trust.
So to fabricate movement with energy by reactions is no solution, rather than writing all out and down – all I thought, my memories, wording my feelings and emotions, thus recognizing the patterns, the conditions, thus understanding, knowing myself.
Don’t think you are, know you are.
Who thinks, does not know, who knows acts.
Yet, it’s imperative to note that when I say don’t think I would mean do not question, do not investigate, do not dig, do not uncover, do not explore, do not gain awareness – you must do, but please recognize the self-sabotage within these thought-patterns, because one’s thinking is not visible in the world at first, only the actions, what cause consequences in the world, many times irreversible, even horrible things, based on conviction, belief fueled by self-deceptive thought-patterns, what can be understood and prevented with appropriate practical application.
I forgive myself that I have not realized the meaning of this single sentence: “Don’t think you are, know you are”, which is that if I think, I am unaware of myself, who I am, why and what I do, thus recognizing the need within self-honesty to get to know who I am, how I have became how I am here today, which is through words can be accumulated, meaning writing/typing the words I consist of, the relationships I hold onto among these words and realizing that I have a choice to let go the thinking and accumulate direct self-trust.
I forgive myself that I have underestimated the effectiveness of self-direction within immediate presence and not recognized the power of accumulation of self-trust with discipline and commitment to prevent myself going into reaction, thinking, feeling positive or having negative emotional energetic experiences.
I forgive myself that I have not realized the common sense when I am not present, being occupied with thoughts in my mind to stop, take a breath and step back and to see what I am afraid of, what would be the most practical solution to the point I am looking at and then how to actually apply that.
I forgive myself that I have defined thinking as something smart and clever, and not specifying, that by this I meant to let thoughts run amok in my mind while listening to those, reacting to those, and believing that this is directly me, who ‘I think’, instead of realizing that I am being thought by my mind, which is a manifested reflection of the accumulation of many moments I was not present, here, direct, equal and one with what I am within and as.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that in the very moment I was thinking about somebody, the work I do, the things I worried about to forget, that I was lost for a moment and by those thoughts I reacted with energetic experiences to make me believe that I am in control, I am directive, but meanwhile I was not aware of what is actually here, I accumulated the acceptance of not being self-directive here, I was not aware of my body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the meaning of not being here and directive while taking a shower, by believing that while I shower, I can and I should think about things and not realizing that with absolute self-honesty this means I am less than those points I think about, I am less than my mind, I am less than my own physical body, because I am not trusting myself fully here.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that I can support myself with simply directing my attention, using words within myself to direct myself, but until thoughts come and go automatically, until I associate based on patterns I am not aware of, until I react with positive and negative energetic reactions to words, sentences, until that I can not trust my thinking and feeling, thus each time I see myself participating within, I see/realize/understand, this is the point where I stop and to see what I was worried about, what I do not trust myself about and how I can do so.
I commit myself to let go the thinking and to let go the prioritizing of what moments are more important or wherein I should be more present or less, based on the judgement of how relevant, difficult or enjoyable the action I do, such as taking a shower, washing dishes, walking.
I commit myself to honor myself and life with presence accumulating, making one step at a time and ensuring I am in and as the step, doing actions while I am fully here in that moment and whenever I would feel to have a temptation to go into thinking – I realize I can and should support myself with communicating with myself through writing, applying self-forgiveness to see what I should know already but not seeing for be able to act what is the most practical thing to do.
When and as I feel myself tempted with thinking, when I catch myself thinking about something which I did not direct, did not specifically moved myself as word by word without energetic reactions, then I stop, I realize I can know myself more better, I could write down or become more aware of what I am unsure about – because I realize that when I think, I am uncertain, otherwise I would not think, but directly act, so I apply the best practical way to support myself to act according to what is the best in the moment without the thinking process and dare myself to explore direct presence, self-trust and self-honesty.
When and as I take a shower, I remind myself that all the things coming up in my mind right now, that those are the points I am not sure, clear, self-honest about, thus I commit myself to assist and support myself with writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-commitment and self-corrective application.
When and as I worry about making a mistake without thinking, I realize that this is a pattern I’ve accepted to come up automatically, because in the moment I MAKE A DECISION and I ACT ACCORDING TO THAT, it is me directly here acting, not as before, as accumulating energy making me move indirectly, wherein I am more focusing to the energy, than the movement, direction, awareness of the circumstances, my mind, my state of being, my starting point and consider consequences.