This is a continuation of my previous post about HATE.
I start with a recent event I witnessed. There is a truck on the road, furnitures are being delivered and I help with carrying in. The road is thin, but it seems like two cars can fit on it, but usually this road is empty. A woman stops with a little car behind the truck, steps out and starts throwing a tantrum about she can’t bear the fact that there is always something on this road so she is so pissed.
I step out to the street hearing her shouting with the truck driver who is being busy to pack down furnitures and he says to her that there is still enough place for her to pass through, but she shouts like hell. I wave my arm and suggest her to go around from the next street and she shouts to me that she comes right here, which in fact means turning to the next street 20 meters after the truck.
The road was recently widened so she might not realizes it, so I go there and measure the physical facts and indeed: there is enough place for her to pass through without a problem, and if needed, the side walk is still there, which is often being used around here to park as well. So after some more nervous sentences she sits into the car and drives through like crazy – so fast without problem that this also proved: it was basically nothing. Yet she had to through a minute tantrum, basically shouting with strangers for no reason except her urge to express that she does not like that there are cars standing there.
More to the story that after some minutes, a HUGE Mercedes taxi also came and that was also able to go through without hesitation and he chosen not to say anything. After all I saw that the truck driver was reacting with angry sentences about how crazy bit** the woman is.
Obviously she had some issues in her mind and this was a trigger point and in fact a good excuse TO THE MIND to exert some anger.
I’d like to write about this today. I also remember to this from my past: when I was child, when I was living with my girlfriend, when one colleague shouted angry to an other.
Anger exerted to someone else. There is obviously a reason what one justifies it, but my question is what are the good reasons to exert my anger to someone? Is this considered?
There were many things I reflected back from that woman in that moment and the most prominent was kind of sadness as she seemed so unhappy, it’s like when someone says ‘I would not want to be in her shoes’. This is also an aspect of projected self-judgement, because I judge her as being troubled, so then I’d not want to be like that, I’d just say ‘it’s uncool’ while I am cool in relation to this point – here – I am glad I am not being in angry tantrum.
Many angry people are getting to the point of really annoying others, so the question is that how that anger can be stopped?
Is there any way to support the being within stopping the anger or I experienced/felt/judged/defined that ‘she’ can not be helped, so I rather just let her be like that and to make sure I do not get affected by her anger.
This can be done when it’s about a stranger and does not live around – but when it’s my family member, my colleague, my partner and I ‘feel’ the tension, the anxiety, the anger and I can’t support the person or I do not even consider to try to give assistance – that means I am in the casino – this will be stopped or not – completely out of my power, so I can start to trust/hope/believe or I completely accept it and I do not really care or react or fight. But still – it’s here and I am here with it.
So this acceptance of anger is really about powerlessness – because the person currently has no power over her/his anger and if I can’t support the being, even if I would want to – then I am also powerless, which again can be a point of annoyance – within me!
In terms of what is hate, it’s compounded anger, something what one does not stop, even if wanting to, because it’s so strong, that it’s influence cannot be excluded from one’s beingness, expression, words or action. Which can be quite dangerous, because of the emotional possession’s nature, what literally takes over the being and acts without consideration.
I was there sometimes, for instance at college, I was so jealous I literally hit my head to the wall, just to experience something more intense than my painful emotion. I did not know how and in fact why I created these systems within me – because these are systematic self-creations – conscious or subconscious – but certainly wearing the characteristic of programming.
Trigger point, judgement, polarity – memory, accumulation, energy – thought, feeling, emotion – action, reaction, consequence.
What I find as great assistance to prevent myself going into anger and hate is to consider what is my personal interest within the thing what makes me react – but for that I have to become aware that I react to something in my mind – because it’s so automatic, natural so to speak, that usually people do not state: ‘I react with this emotion because of this and that’, but people say: I AM ANGRY – total unification with the mind, absolute trust into one’s inner reactions about what one feels, what thinks and what sees right to do – if they say my mother is a whor*, I react with anger, no matter what – which is kind of childish – if I know she is that, then that’s why I should not bother, and if she is not, then that’s why it does not matter – of course this does not mean I should allow any abuse without doing something, just to be angry ‘automatically’ based on my past personality preferences, judgements, which are in fact still present in me – then I am already bound to a future wherein I will be exposed to become angry any time when someone wants me to become so. Which is again, kind of powerlessness.
That powerlessness is then projected out to the other – “I feel angry towards you, I can’t stop myself being angry, so I should try to stop you.”
Anyone steps out with anger, hate, aggression is immediately exposed of being consumed by powerlessness, which can be frightening, like “I lost my self-direction or never had – will I remain like this, no power over myself(and my mind)? I should do something – myself I can’t change, what can I?”
So one moves towards aggression – instead of decomposing and removing the system within fuelled by convictions, thoughts, feelings, emotions to gain self-directive power, one rather tries to destroy the trigger point outside which is not really the solution, because self will not change, still will be exposed to the same trigger point to react to if again arises by something or someone else similarly… so it’s not common sense to listen to the aggression anyway…
So after all I suggest anyone reading this to consider what are the points one still finds as justifiable to become angry and hateful about, so what are the trigger points what one can see even before being triggered ‘out there’ – for instance it’s a common thing to be mad when someone is being cheated as one’s partner is having sex with another all of a sudden, even when it was directly or indirectly agreed not doing so. Or when someone steals from an other or harming family members or cursing one’s mother and calling names on her.
I still do not state that one should accept all these things without a blink and just endure and that is supportive – no – but not to feed the emotions of hate and anger in the mind – yet it’s still possible to stand up to oneself or others. It might seem as not as strong when there is no burning hate within oneself but that has a price: losing presence, balance, peace, quietness within.
As any and all other words, anger can be re-defined to support self without compromising self-honesty and consider practical common sense.
That’s also a purpose of self-investigation and self-forgiveness – to take responsibility for the consequences one has already made and also what are about to being made, because it’s a simple common sense truth – prevention is the best cure, meaning not to go mind-possession and hateful vengeance is more good than going to.
In my previous post I wrote about the layered nature of the mind and not everything is obvious in terms of why and how I feel when participating within anger. That’s why we WALK through the layers of the mind, which are of relationships between words, energetic experiences, memories what might seem so obvious but once we sit down and start WRITING down these patterns, we can see/realize and understand that there are patterns what are very limited yet we also patterned up the justification of why this is good for us. And this is where SELF-HONESTY must be developed to see when I am not true to myself in any particular relationship in my mind.
This is important, because everyone can see problems but to see solutions requires an ability to see through the already manifested imperfect systems – in the world and within ourselves as well. Perfection here I refer as what is the possible best for self and all others also. This should not be an idealistic philosophy, but for that to be able to see, one must work with these systems of projection, blame, thought-relationships, excuses and justifications, emotional addictions and energetic possessions as well.
I am walking an online course called Desteni I Process what supports developing these skills – I recommend it to try, to walk, to enjoy and share it, because that practical knowledge once developed, can support LIFE in all aspects. The introductionary course called DIP LITE, where the first steps can be learned on how to assist and support self with self-honesty and writing.