6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well
The realization that I am responsible – opens up the direction of investigating how I affect with my thought, word and deed not only in my life but others as well.
The things I experience within with the process of self-realization start to make sense and realizing how exactly I am manifesting who I am today with my direct participation within the thoughts, words, deeds. By understanding why I react the way I do to certain situations, asking the question of what I fear to lose, writing down the mind-construct of a conversation assists and supports me to understand why I am who I am today.
With walking the process of Self-forgiveness I realize the patterns I constitute within my thoughts, feelings, emotions and when I see that I am not self-honest about something I commit myself to stop it – and within the decision to stop I apply the realizations of how and why I participate within the self-dishonesty, the fear, the spite, the deliberate ignorance, the actual acceptance of lack of self-direction, self-trust. By taking responsibility for my own mind, words, deeds I explore what is the best practical way to prevent any self-dishonesty, which means to find out what is the self-honest way to live.
This means to live without inner conflict, without avoiding responsibility, without accepting fear, without accepting ignorance – because with the investigation it is clear, I am becoming aware of the fact that I affect my reality – who I live with, the system I participate within.
In a way I am always representing an image and likeness of who I am – who I see, hear, experience me – they can have an impression of who I am and what I do, what I accept and what I do not accept. Imagine you are a parent and you are ‘raising’ a child – how you behave, what you speak and act, even how your beingness resonate within your presence is in fact making an impression to the child – I bring up the child, because when they born they have no particular personality, they are sponging in their surroundings, learn like little monkeys, every parent knows that but if someone doesn’t believe, should read the studies, it is determining how the child will handle her/his reality – not totally and irreversibly, but it mostly quite determining the life path one will take.
I have grown up within a place wherein I’ve experienced troubled beings, who were uncertain, unstable and some even (self-)abusive – kind of victims of their own family, surroundings and the system already – the ‘sins of the father’ is the impression we baseline the children to, which they will rebel to first, because it’s embedded into their mind but then mostly accepting it or making their life about playing out against – I am kind of generalizing, but all I wanted to make as a point here is that who we are every day, what we accept ourselves to be is influencing our surroundings, not only the children, but the adults as well. Yet we don’t change – can we?
Everyone demands more privacy, ‘receiving’ human rights – fear of being visible to all, being exposed to the world’s eyes – yet no one considers to live the way what can be really proud of, as an example to not needing to hide anything, without fear, shame, not worrying about ‘receiving’ the human right but also to give.
I used to do the wolf-eye game, when I was a kid – to stare into others eyes until they turned over their gaze – I was relentless, because I knew, when I used to turn away my gaze, it was because of some thoughts, a shame, a fear many times – thus I wanted to prove to others, but more importantly to myself the opposite, that by me being the more ‘dead eye’ – the other has the issues, not me, therefore I am the stronger. It was a really silly game but after all I realized I did it based on fear – if one constantly needs to reinforce one’s strength by somehow trying to prove it – it’s based on fear – so later on I realized – I’d rather change myself to live a life that I can look into anyone’s eyes without any shame or regret, fear or dishonesty – because I am absolutely standing, wording and doing for what is best for all.
It is one point of why I should take responsibility of who I accept myself to be, what are my motives, words, deeds – because if I stand up to a principle of Self-honesty, Self-responsibility, for what is best for all – I am one already who represents ALL LIFE and by aligning that – I can exactly see what I must change within and as me.
And we never know who we can have impression to with our expression – it is not the motive of why to be Self-honest, because with this starting point it would not be direct, unconditional Self-honesty, but in a way it is always equal and one what is within and without and if it’s aligned then it is natural and dignified.
For instance I’ve stopped drinking alcohol since a long-long time ago within self-commitment(it is really self-abusive in all ways and only justified within the mind and if people have reasons to continue drinking can certainly know that they have identified with the mind so ‘deep’ that they actually believe that these reasons and justifications they say are who they are, but it’s not real, it’s self-dishonesty) – or even drugs – people who still do it or wants to stop doing it often have a reflection on that fact to me, like “it’s good for you”, “I should do the same” – not everyone but there are many.
I’ve stopped alcohol with a single decision – that was not difficult at all, I had no struggle, no wavering or temptation ever since – because within practical Self-honesty it is obvious that it is not supporting Self-realization, it is boosting the mind, the personality, the ego, abusing the body – even in small dosages and the ‘good for the health’ is also crap – I am absolutely healthy with more than 7 years not drinking at all – it’s just excuse – and brainwashing, business, media and propaganda. It’s the greatest common slave drug ever – and let’s not deny the accidents/abuse/criminal facts either about alcohol. So by me absolutely not drinking – I am obviously clear on what message I represent about it.
I stand similar with drugs – though I’ve did use psychedelics for a while and there were cool realizations – it’s like seeing through some windows but the real deal is to actually find the door and walk through it without anything but self here – otherwise it’s still a mind-experience – not direct realization – regardless of how intense, real, promising, convincing the stuff can make one to believe – it is not required and can easily become a distraction – because drugs only work in the mind – and even the slightest effect means one is still perceiving, grasping, acting by and as the mind so maximum it can be used for facing the fact that how much we are really fucked within and without – but once that is clear – the real, actual, diligent work is required with as much as clear head as possible.
Well – I do not say one should never ever do drugs for instance – it assisted me in a way but I’ve abused myself with it eventually and if I could have been Self-honest, I could use them more directly within my Process, but that’s the point – if I am Self-honest, I can directly face and understand and change myself, I would not need substances for it. And even that can be self-deceptive, that “well, then I will use the drugs until I am not Self-honest enough”, which is again: starting point of Self-dishonesty, thus until this cycle is not stopped, one is justifying to remain within the deliberate self-deception. Which is not only affects me – but others as well – who look at me and see what I do, what I accept within and without – and also considering the fact that I am still busy working with my own mind-demons so to speak to figure out what is really real, meanwhile the world is burning, the world system is more and more far from respecting all life and the economic, political forces are reflecting back the carelessness for the real values of life – that should be the focus, real education, real standing up, real responsibility, real accumulation for the children to come.
I’ve brought up these two simple yet common examples – but there are many more.
It’s all about facts – and if I am troubled to see the facts in this world, what are obviously crying for help, understanding, solution, because I am still figuring out what is real in my mind – I should really consider to let go all what is not physically here.
But with asking the right questions, for instance what I feel gaining with any substance – what is the reason for I am unable to experience, express it directly myself here? What is the Self-limitation I accept by letting conditions and experiences to tell me, stimulate, direct me to be who I want to be?
It’s different from when I jump out from a plane and not using parachute and saying ‘I am dependent on parachute to land safely’ – than going to a party and simply enjoy myself and others without becoming high and drunk. What experiences I suppress or melt down with the stuff? For me it was always about opening doors and never wanting to be dependent on the things with I supported myself to open such doors – because then I am not really expanding, only making me believe that I do.
Who I accept myself to be if I cannot let go inhibitions, frustrations, tension without substances? It might seem to be a free choice but within this – am I really free or am I convicting myself?
Some might even say I seem to be a fanatic about not drinking at all – I must be in order to really not to at crazy parties – but let us not mix up discipline, consistency and stability with emotional conviction in the protection and distraction of somebody’s interest for covering up facing SELF.
Facing and experiencing, expressing me and others with sober head each time I go to a party – because sometimes I go, to just move around, enjoy music, see who I am among others, to express myself, to embrace others – and if there is friction, resistance, inhibition or worry – I forgive and stop myself for it and let it go.
Look, even within the smallest points one can stand as an example – not needed to be heroic or martyr, but always considering simple common sense.
So it’s just an example – I am grateful I work at a place where there is no spite, but there are such places – within company of others if I gossip about someone not being present, sharing judgements, reactions, my personal additions, which are not facts – I am maybe influencing the other to do the same – or even if I accept the gossip I give my acceptance.
If I speak up that ‘I do not accept this, so please stop it’ – I am making it clear who I am not – but if I give consent to it, I am allowing my surrounding, my reality as it is and that acceptance becomes my responsibility too. We can’t know certainly how gossip can escalate through whom to what degree actually.
To do nothing when someone is bullied, abused makes me face the fact that I am also responsible – and I can have justification, like fear, self-definition of powerlessness or carelessness – but the fact is that within my reality bully is being accepted, it’s consequence is being manifested.
And if others will dislike or reject me because I stand up to bully – it’s still clear – I do not accept it, if they don’t stop – I do not accept them, it is my responsibility to prevent things to happen to others around me what I would not want to experience to myself.
And it can happen anywhere and anytime – within family, at work, on the bus, at the party – yes, I can manifest consequence, like people who want to express Self-dishonesty, like gossip, abuse, bully – would not like me and might want to react to me, but I’d rather cause conflict among them than within me, having friction of suppressed frustration of why I did not stand up to abuse.
There is obviously a point of common sense – it is not practical to approach shooters, mass-murderers if that would mean they would harm or murder me but I guess even that can be an option for instance if we imagine a child being abused and I would have to apply physical force to protect somebody – yet it is Self-honesty, principle and common sense which should be my expression, not judgement, fear, because then that is also what I would show as an example, which would manifest the opposite of what I stand for.
Within this world wherein there is so rare the Integrity, Principle for all Life, it is important to realize that each of us can accumulate into the global ‘footprint’ with practical Self-honesty.
The world system has a character, humanity has a personality which is manifested by the accumulation of all individuals, thus each and every single human being’s standing up to all life has impact and thus consequence.
The most relevant power is the accumulation here, which is the simplest mathematical equation: 1+1=2. “Two or more in my name”.
That’s why we should never underestimate the opportunity we face in every moment to accumulate to what is really best for all by taking responsibility for becoming Self-aware and Self-honest within our thought, word and deed.
There are others, who also walk the same process of standing up to the realization of becoming responsible and walking the personal, interpersonal, universal change – and those who are walking the Process of Self-honesty will be visible and their consistent action will be undoubtedly revealing of what they are standing up for, thus it is imperative to always look one’s actions, words, starting point in greater time frame – because by time, it will be obvious about everyone who they really are by what actions and consequences they accumulate to manifest within this physical existence.
In a way it is a trust to accumulate – I walk through the shadow valley of doubt, uncertainty, fear to face who I perceive myself to be with these writings within the Journey to Life and with Self-honesty applied, within each writing I can accumulate understanding, awareness, practical knowledge on how to change myself and who I am becoming as responsible for all what is here.
It is time to not give trust but to earn by walking the Process of Self-realization – to me, to others – it’s the same.
Who I see writing and sharing consistently, who is changing and standing up to all life and there is consequence accumulated to what is best for all – within time it can become a trust to give to a new wave of leadership, who will not fall into the trap of the mind of fear, desire but proving to transcend self-interest and act according to what is best for all. And this ‘leadership’ does not mean to become an elite, but to initiate and give an example of a possible, practical, change from consciousness to awareness and to realize that any of us can stand up and start change.
We can easily judge corruption by a judge-mental state of mind, but as somebody who I know told me once “Corruption is that from which you are left out.” If we see that within this world system there is power, energy, resource what we have not access to – is maybe because we accepted ourselves not to have.
“As above – so below” – meaning what I accept within my mind – I accept in the world to – and vice versa – what I accept to myself, being corrupted my my own limitations based on fear – I will not be able to stand up to it as equal as one in the world to have the power to stop and change it according to what is the best for all participants.
If I do not investigate, understand, stop and change myself first – my starting point on changing the world will not be equal and one because there is separation accepted, there is self-interest, judgement, fear – and based on that – there is no solution for seeing, realizing, understanding what is best for all, because within the self-accepted self-dishonesty I am not yet aware of what would be the best even for myself.
That’s why the responsibility starts with SELF to sort out and re-align my thoughts, my words and deeds by walking the process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-honesty, Self-responsibility and this is I am committing myself to.
Beyond sorting out inner conflicts, fear – we already can work with the same principles in our external reality as well – within seeing the cannibalistic capitalism, the authoritarian control, the abuse of freedom of speech with hate can and should be recognized and changed to practical solutions, such as fair trade, guaranteed life support, holistic resource-management, individual responsibility within the community and the application of ‘give as you would like to receive’ principle within social interactions.
It is not a rocket-science to do and give what we would like to get, yet if we are unable to, then it is obvious that we are not yet aligned with what should be LIFE about, which is what is practically best for all within this human system.