Continuing on the previous post on validation and fear to change myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my fears by memories when I did not fear and I’ve faced consequences what I did not consider to prevent and when manifested I’ve defined as negative and not really learning about it but allowing fear to limit me to not go into that direction or go but with this worry, anxiety which then using it to have an energetic state what then I am using to be cautious and apparently more aware but in fact justifying fear, justifying not seeing fully here and justifying myself not moving as effectively as I could without fear yet considering all factors here.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself seeing facts here, specifically when and as I stop expressing myself here and go into patterns resulting of fear.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize what are the points exactly by I trigger fear within me and within that seeing/realizing/understanding the reason of reacting with this specific fear and why reacting with stopping expressing myself here and going into patterns what are of habits, of excuses and justifications to occupy me not face the fact that I am in fear, I am avoiding facing and walking through and transcending fear.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am going into automatic habit of entertainment, I am suppressing, I am avoiding, I am procrastinating a point to walk through thus I commit myself to question myself “is this supporting me, is this self-directed decision, is this priority in this moment here?”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically validate my existence by entertainment, the justification for entertainment such as watching films, movies, browsing randomly, playing music and in those moments not seeing what is the starting point for the need for being entertained, occupied, feel good, having fun.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my need for entertainment by defining myself as someone who require certain amount of ‘fun’ which I define as ‘recharging’, ‘relaxing’ and by that in fact meaning to reacting and having thoughts/feelings/emotions being stimulated and by that accumulating energy and by that defining myself as energetic, cool, capable and by that defining myself being able to do ‘job’, ‘serious work’ or ‘priority’ or ‘tasks’ and not realizing it is a polarity and I am not directing myself but stimulating/manipulating myself to move which then conditioning myself to entertainment and several dimensions of judgements instead directing myself in each moments equally.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see/realize/understand the other part of the polarity of needing entertainment, fun, recharging, relaxing and how I am creating that and why and understanding that it is already self-judgement, self-definition, self-dishonesty and fear thus the solution is to dig, see deeper within me, slow down more, re-align with and as the physical reality here to see what I exactly participate within to be able to forgive and stop and change.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to validate automatizing my personality by defining myself here needing something to show me what is priority, what is what making me cool, alright, energetic because I do not see within myself, I do not know myself and validate that with certain fears which direction I’ve automatized myself to not go into so not needing to face all the time that I am limited by fear and validated it by apparent ‘choices’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of what exact points and reasons and justifications I bring up within to cover up the fact that I accept myself to live by the influence of fear.
I forgive myself that I that accepted and allowed to occupy myself constantly to not be able to see that I am in fact aware of what exact points and reasons and justifications I bring up within myself to use it as validation of : I do not know – for not changing and thus remaining within fear by fear of loss, fear of change which is an other layer what I’ve hidden behind which requires self-forgiveness to apply.
I forgive myself that I have validated my fear based on experiences, memories of experiences, feelings and emotions and memories of feelings and memories of emotions which are in this moment not here but by considering the point what triggers the fear I give permission to my mind to bring up the rememberance of the fear, the reason and justification of why I decided to not face that fear and not realizing that this is what I entail as limitation so whenever I move I will face this until I do not walk through it and let it go breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my fear of relationship with somebody based on the memories I have with her and what I’ve experienced and felt by that and not being self-honest with myself in terms of remaining constantly aware the fact that it is not the person who with I have the issue but myself here so the solution can be only changing myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my reason to go or not go into a relationship with somebody based on memories and judgments I’ve made about her or others and myself in the past and defining that as facts here instead seeing what is here by trusting myself where I am breathing: here, realizing that in each moment I can decide and act who I am.
I forgive myself to validate my relationship with somebody based on the experiences I have and the judgements I do automatically about that person because I’ve defined who I am according to the self-definitions I’ve given permission to my mind to stimulate and influence me by thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my decisions by projecting an imagination of the situation and my decision into the future and stimulating myself with the word infinity as a loop of what I do find as compromise intensifying, meaning having a worry/fear about something and projecting it how I would define myself in relation to accepting it from now on continuously and by that intensifying the worry/fear to the extent of directing me to avoid it and meanwhile not realizing that by this I limit myself by fear, I program myself to move only by fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘infinity’, ‘from now on continously’ as fearful because not trusting myself because what I’ve defined doing so is based on fear thus in fact being sure that what I’ve defined myself to do from now on based on fear will not be perfect in terms of being able to act it within self-direction as who I am because it is not real, but based on fear, based on a relationship within me which is not here.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that when allowing a compromise validated by fear and equated it with hope or suppression or positive thinking – I am showing myself what I do not stand equal as one within self-honesty and by that to realize what I must correct myself about within myself by investigating the relationship I allow within myself about the point of compromise.
When and as I experience worry or fear within myself I realize because I allow myself to exist within self-limitation validated by the self-definition automation triggerd by this specific worry/fear thus I slow down and breathe and see the point and stop using this definition and just breathe here.
When and as I see using validation based on past, definition, judgement, memory – I stop – I breathe – I let it all go and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to give permission to my mind to automatically influence within my ability to be present, here, directive and start directing myself to be here, trust myself here, express myself here.
When and as I worry from the relationships I allow within myself towards points in my reality – I stop and I let it go – I specify the self-forgiveness within application of changing myself as stopping and just be here and embrace the point and breathe, stop, remain here until ‘I’ remain.
When and as I face a fear or worry about a point I allow about a relationship I already accepted to exist within – I immediately move and be punctual and specific to focus to that point as myself and stop and re-align with presence, direction, change.
When and as I see worry and losing presence – I realize because I am not practical, not aligned with reality here but using thoughts, feelings, emotions to react – thus I let it all go and I use common sense to see what is the practical solution to face and stop my fear and have a solution which is best for all participants here within self-honesty – and if I am unable to apply self-honesty directly within inner silence then I use self-support as writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statement and self-commitment to prepare myself for standing as this point as self-correction in real physical time within consistency and stability in each breath.
When and as I see that I am losing presence, direction, consistent expression I realize because I give into worry and fear so I let it all go and see what patterns I trigger and why and stop and apply self-forgiveness to re-align myself here.
When and as I use fear as validation to not move, to not express myself I realize I am not here but in and as the mind so I re-align myself here and physical reality and see what I must ACT to change and how to do it and direct myself to walk.
When and as hear or consider the word infinity – I realize within this physical body infinity does not exists only in the mind as perception as my life on earth who I am as human physical body is limited, my breath will stop so I realize, see, understand that fear from infinity is self-dishonesty and the solution is to live principle of what is best for me is what is best for all.
When and as I fear from what I do would remain for ever I realize because I accept compromise – I accept a relationship within which is of an other fear – so it is fear of fear thus I see into me what I react to and slow down to realize the specific reason for fear and how to stop and what to act to prevent going into fear.
I see, realize and understand that the solution is to stop reacting to fear but understanding it and see the practical step which is common sense here to align with reality wherein I direct myself to express the correction in real space and time.
I realize that to not know why and what from I fear is a layer I deliberately use as justification to not move as it is always common sense to see the practical solution here and if I am unable to walk the correction when I see any fear then it means I do not direct myself thus I stop and see what and why I do and apply the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-correction in action and if required I write, I say, I specify, plan what must be lived in reality as me as the solution as equal as one to stand up and stop the specific fear.
I realize that when I accumulate fear after fear and fear from too many fears – it is to slow down within and prioritize and what is currently here which I direct to stop and solve, one by one, thus not allowing myself to validate my self-acceptance within fear by fear.
I realize I do not need validation to stop existing within fear, I do not require validation to be here, but if I validate what I do/don’t do within my mind then it is what I commit myself to stop breath by breath with consistency, diligence and accumulation.