Continuing on Validation – is my validation valid?
This came up within me recently directing myself to walk towards a specific point meanwhile having an extensive flu, which seemed like a storm within me, bringing up a lot of things to consider, specifically: VALIDATE what to do:
Fear of relationship, fear of faliure, fear of pain and fear of loss
Fear of rebound, fear of enslavement, fear of limitation, fear of judgement
Fear of missing out something else, fear of left behind, fear of not succeeding
Fear of being stuck, fear of being manipulated, fear of being fooled by myself
Is my fear valid? Is me being valid when considering my fear? How to ensure I am sure?
Self-honesty about fear interviews by Bernard Poolman:
- Fear of the Future as Mathematical Certainty
- Revenge of the Ego
- Why Fear Feels Different to Different People
On fear: I have successfully validated my perception of I do not have fear – by not moving towards certain directions. Cool. Having justifications, excuses WHY not doing things what would be cool to hide myself from the fear I WOULD HAVE if I would MOVE towards MYSELF directly to walk through fear?
The fear is something we do not see – because of the fear of fear. I do not generalize – I walk through my ‘own’ self-accepted fear. I might seem to own myself but in fact my fear owns me as I owe myself to move myself towards my fear. Very well, indeed and of course.
Who I am is what I accept and allow. If I fear not moving towards to a point – this is who I am. If I decide not to move – is my fear valid? Is my fear practical? Is that fear really supports me and what is best for all? That is why physical reality is here – to assists and support cross-referencing.
So facing fear practically is facting fear – fractioning, factioning to see how I am functioning within my physical actions.To understand my fear is to understand the context, the set, setting, all my mind con-sciousness con-tains to con-dition, con-troll me to allow such a relationship ‘written by’ words – it is first is to understand it, to see the pattern exactly to be able to find practical solutions to stop such limitation. We all fear the utmost what we can not word it – once it’s worded specifically, can be dealt with. So not to word my fears does not mean not having fears at all – only a fool thinks that.
I have successfully fooled myself for so many years that I do not have fear – but only I ensured to manifest a reality for myself within which I do not have to directly face consequences of self-acceptance within fear. Only when I started the process of Self-forgiveness I started to realize in what extent I’ve enslaved myself by the delusion of not seeing my fear because I’ve became fear itself.
Is it self-judgement referring myself as fool or is it Self-honesty? Am I being fool myself if I remain such even after realizing the self-dishonesty, because then it is nasty: deliberate self-deception is not self-fulfillment at all.
Especially when one does not even knows what and why doing – or not doing – something.
It is similar when someone has a sort of mind-meltdown – all liquifies into a sort of light experience which seems like oneness and profound wherein no separation exists – by drugs, repetitive meditations, trance, all kind of methods – the fear seems to be dissolved into a white light – meanwhile all what happens is one becomes this liquified system of manifested fear which then directly takes over and one becomes this system wherein no fear can be seem – so then one defines that fear has left behind meanwhile not realizing that all what one does perceive, experience, react and does now is already the manifested consequence and personality of and by and as fear.
All the relationships one carries through one’s life – breath by breath all gathers up into big pile of matrices of words, energies, images and definitions ensuring one has already pre-ordained judgements towards reality and none of it is real. It is just a reel of program codes running all the time.
To slow down to the extent of one seeing how it works – takes courage – Self-honesty and the decision to manifest dignity within oneself and live this equally in each breath.
This leads to the process of self-realization which is Self-forgiveness as one by one, relationship by relationship Self takes responsibility to sort out all which comes from fear.
All my desire is fear – because to have desire is to have fear – polarity of the mind – negative and positive – therefore to realize who I really am – it is inevitable to let go the relationships in my mind as polarities as positive and negative definitions towards ‘things’ which are projections and excuses to why I do not stand here as equal as one with myself in each breath.
These I walk through by I am forgiving myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself who I am according to desire and fear, according to polarities and justifications and not realizing that if I do not move – I did not transcend, only I am petrified by fear and by that I am manifested as fear which is not real, therefore if I am not moving Self-expression here in all moments equally without any fear – I am not real.
I forgive myself that I have manifested myself as the validation of what I do, who I think myself to be, what I define as I should feel, do according to fear – and avoid fear and not face fear and by that to ensure not experiencing fear of fear to be able to define the experience of me as: not fearful.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that within validating my fear as real – I am not real but only the relationship within myself I manifest as consequences based on not expressing myself who I am as LIFE but as fear.
I forgive myself that I have never considered to directly face my fear and immediately change in the moment and re-define who I am in practical term how to stop the self-accepted relationship within my mind as definitions, images, thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories which I use as self-reference of who I am according to fear or according to not to fear which is polarity, of duality, of unreality, wherein I’ve taken refugee and given permission to tell me who I am because of the original fear of not knowing who I really am and based on the fear of not finding out who I am beyond fear.
I forgive myself that I have not used practical application of slowing down really within myself and if required even physically to be able to direct myself to not react and see that what relationships I participate within what I must understand, forgive, practically change and live as solution to stop stimulate myself into fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear as validation or the self-created delusional polarity of not fearing to have excuses and justifications of why I not move, why I apparently ‘chosen’ not to move towards directions to ensure not to stimulate myself into the polarities of fear and not fear wherein it’s all just fear – fear of change, fear of loss, who I’ve defined myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and walk through each pattern of fear by practical solutions to let go fear of loss and fear of change and one by one see/realize/understand what fear specifically how I’ve created and why and who I am and how to re-align myself to stop participating within such self-limitation.
I will continue more on validation on fear and relationships I’ve defined thus manifested myself to be.