[JTL 122] Self-forgiveness : Action Film – TV Mind part 9

 Continuing with the TV-Mind series from the last post: stopping mind-reactions towards action movies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define action movie interesting because within action movie there are anger, emotions, fear, loss, bravery, vengeance what I defined as worth to investigate, watch, react to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become automatically addicted to action movies, fist and weapon fights and arms usage and bombs and never realizing it is not real, but to stimulate people and in fact this happens with people in reality and never considered that it is not that funny and cool, even when it is recorded in a visually cool way – it is still violence, I watch and react to and accept and program myself to react to violence with acceptance and reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself and my reactions to not need to experience those as myself, to not need to face points I am dealing with and the suppression compounds and then seeing people letting off steam with violence I react with fascination and excitement and that is of mind energy of fear and desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as thinker, philosopher, not as the man of action and by that definition judging people who act immediately and directly as action men and creating a polarity of definitions in the mind based on how much and who is more likely action-based or thought-based and creating such a perception within me wherein seeing myself as thinker who rather thinks than acts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be attracted to action movies because within those people are capable of dealing with physical expereinces such as fighting, protecting, working hard and by watching them and reacting to those is similar how I react when I directly experience things – only the ‘knowing’ is different, that I know that it is not me but the action movie hero who moves and acts like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define action that something is what requires only when I have problems and something must be changed as it is now judged as bad and I have to act to stop it and recover what was before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being myself here and going into experiences of feeling power of action movies and by that feel of power, actually feeling good, positive, energetic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with action movie characters and feeling like I could be similar if I could choose different points in my life so I can be hero, action hero as well who is powerful and can get what he wants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to not think but act all the time so then becoming powerful and strong because defined myself as weak compared to action movie heroes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define someone as cool who can hurt and destruct and kill efficiently, artistically, smartly, calmly and humorously and wanting to see it to act more and more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy violence, watching violence, reacting to violence and feel the violence depicted on TV, Movies and never considering that it imprints fear and people copy that and reproduce it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that life is just like being depicted in action movies: one needs to be strong and powerful and then gets the money and woman, what two for is worth fighting for, even against other humans.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that action movies are psychopatic and insane and to watch those I am being influenced, stimulated, programmed to accept and copy violence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to watch action movies wherein people fight in a nice way, such as martial arts, kung fu or shootings what is depicted in a visually perfect way and forgeting about what it is about: violence and destruction, money, power, hate and separation.

I forgive myself that I have never considered how boring action movies are by seeing that mostly all of them are about box, kung fu, pistols, machine guns, blades or bows, bombs, cars, choppers and airplanes, money, drug and politicians and of course women who are striving for action heroes and never realizing that these are from the unconscious based on definitions of fear and desire according to power.

I forgive myself that I have not realized how and why I react within my mind when watching action movie – and not being able to – and never even considering to slow down to a degree within myself and let everything go and remain here empty, breathing to see/realize/understand that what I experience during action movie is the mind – and I am just reacting to the mind, through the mind based on definitions, memories, judgments, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to awe people who are able to be very powerful in terms of fighting and destructing, killing and defining it as value worth living for and not realizing that these are ideas from the mind, and real people who are killing are not necessarily cool, adorable figures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adore violence in any way whatsoever.

I forgive mysef that I have not allowed myself to realize that experiencing and reacting to action movie is the stimulation of the mind and if I am reacting in and as the mind – I, as being, as Life force is not here expressing but suppressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy blood, gore, decapitation and dismemberment if depicted visually as something interesting, nice and reacting it with disgust while enjoying the ride of reactions what movies, tv shows draw in terms of the ‘story’ what I am addicted to watch through, whatever is happening in and as reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define watching movies and TV series as important and value in my life and not realizing that without these I could live my life without needing to watch any action movie, any violence, any tension on screen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what is good in action movie and when seeing something, then defining it as cool such as woman with sword or kid with guns or arms attached to a body part etc – and never seeing that definition is not me but of external influences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to apply self-forgiveness unconditionally while reacting, seeing myself reacting to movies, tv series wherein there is violence and I react with excitement, fear, worry, tension, content or any feeling, emotion or any thought.

I commit myself to stop the devotion to action movies, films and stop the need for watch and see violence to experience my reactions.

I commit myself to investigate all my currently accepted relationships towards action movies, violence, destruction to see how to practically stop any automatic reaction.

I commit myself to remain here, empty, breathing, physical presence while seeing, experiencing, watching action movie, violence, destruction without judging it, without being petrified, without being excited, simply remain directive, present, fully here.

I commit myself to investigate and stop all suppressions within myself and stop the definitions of reasons why I have to suppress what I defined as not good for me – instead of stopping that directly as myself and prevent the suppression and emotions.

I commit myself to let go the strive for wanting to watch action heroes in movies, tv who are capable of kill, fight, destruct.

When and as I experience myself reacting with anger, frustration, content, worry, excitedness or any emotion, feeling towards action movies, violence or aggression – I realize it is a movie, it is not real, I am here, I am real.

When and as I think that I should watch an action movie – I consider why I need such experience, what is the reason for needing to watch violence?

When and as I realize it is not important to watch action movie then I do not watch it, priorities are more important than watching movies yet it does not mean never watch movie but first things first.

When and as I want to become powerful, strong, great and want to feel like I can direct others and myself – I realize this I can be if I let go the mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions by walking Journey to Life blogs, Desteni I Process and apply Self-forgivenes within consistency as the Living Self-honesty.

When and as I feel like I desire after power, money, woman – I realize these are not what I desire but what these means to me I am experiencing myself separated from through the mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions – so I stop the desire, separation by stopping the mind step by step.

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