[JTL 116] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 3

Continuing on:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only to experience of images and sounds and disregard physical presence, physical beingness, physical facts here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define film, movie, book, comics experience as interesting, more interesting than reality here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into polarity in terms of interesting and not interesting and comparing images and pictures on TV, movies with my physical life and defining images and my reactions towards images as more interesting than being here – and defining interesting as a goal, as a fascination, as a priority and not realizing it is a self-manipulation to pull myself from being here into the experience of the mind through picture, image stimulation based on already established, self-defined, self-accepted definitions of the mind through thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel separated from experience and defining experience as who I am and by that defining experience by my judgments, reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to positive experience and wanting to continue the experience of feeling positive without questioning what I am doing here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define experience of watching a story, a TV series as interesting and fascinating and defining my interest to explore, watch, experience, react more of this TV series experience and defining who I am according to this experience, this reaction to this ‘TV series watching experience’ and my reaction to ‘TV series watching experience’ and layer by layer physically programming myself to be this as action and reaction without questioning and applying common sense and consider the physical here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the mind and be the starting point of experience, the experience of TV series, the episodes, the depicted events and scenarios and defining myself as who I am according to how I react to these experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to know more of the story of the TV series so much that after an episode automatically wanting to see the next one within curiosity and defining it as entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define characters in TV series and Movies according to polarity, as positive and negative and identify myself with the experiences of these characters and reacting with feelings, thoughts, emotions towards these the same way as I allowed myself to react to real human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experience more about TV series, Movies characters who I’ve defined as fascinating, attractive, interesting, cool, brutal, groovy, smart or any label or definition I define them what I enjoy watching, reacting to.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize when I experience desire and fear when seeing events experienced by characters of films, movies and not realizing that by automatic reaction I am programming myself to behave the same way within similar real life circumstances and not considering the responsibility to stop myself when it is not the best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live out suppressed desires by seeing and reacting to film, movie characters what they do and I wanted to try, do, experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe that seeing abusing, hurting, killing people, animals within films, movies is alright, normal and not realizing that it is influencing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to acknowledge that how I have been formed who I am today according to movies, films and never considering to investigate and being intimate with myself to explore who I’ve became by these definitions what is not LIFE, what is not really who I am as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the Self-honesty within stopping defining myself in relation to films, movies and never realizing the consequences of such influences within my real life events, experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I react within through thoughts, feelings, emotions towards films, movies – I am within separation, judgment, which is the action of not being here, stopping being present, direct and live but use the mind to filter, process and influence, control me through the reactions based on my accepted self-dishonesty relationship with the point I judge, define based on: always: fear.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that when I am reacting within fear and allowing fear, programming fear through films, movies and not considering to stop, to not participate, to purify myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within watching TV series – the episode will wait if I do not continue right after one episode to watch the next one – and the only thing I am rushing to continue is to continue to have the experience of watching it, being lost in the experience of watching it, not wanting to be here, within presence, within consideration of facts of who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically want to continue an experience of TV series until there are episodes and until I can continue and not realizing that within the experience I am not after the story but the experience of not being here but within constant reaction.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that real priorities are here within and as the physical and to disregard that already indicates that I have formed and programmed myself in relation to experience which is the result of judgment, polarity, fear without being aware of it therefore not questioning it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the pattern within wanting to rush into an experience to just going through it to be ‘free of it’ and not realizing that after the experience is gone – I am still here with the relationship with the experience and by that inducing and creating a lack, a feeling, missing something what I automatically want to fulfill based on my past, based on self-acceptance, self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down within watching TV series, Movies and see what I experience and why and be able to question and stop.

to be continued

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