[JTL 112] Waking up as moment as me – Part 3

I have some issues with my eye so I had to minimize my screen-staring time – however I do not stop stopping the mind.

Continuing on the last post of

I used to use different techniques to deepen my inner silence and those were not equal and one as myself therefore I was bound to conditions. The very conditions I’ve defined myself with in terms of rooting myself into consistent stability within constant physical presence.
The deeper I ‘feel’ to ‘experience’ this silence – things come up and I have the tendency to react and by that reaction being occupied and by that occupation ‘coming back to the surface’ wherein I am busy reacting with and to: thoughts.

Herein referring ‘deep’ as silence and surface as conscious mind.

The starting point is not specific of this, the simplicity is prevailing within the polarity of ‘superficial’ versus ‘profound’ because no matter where I am in fact I am always ‘here’ within the realization and consideration of who I am as starting point and physical expression.

So by that I correct myself here to stop this polarity of ‘deep silence’ versus ‘superficial noisiness’ as both is of and as definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I accept and allow thoughts during my day – it will be a pattern what will come back and as I’ve accepted it previously – if I do not change – I will accept it again.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have not fully, really explored what it means to practically not accepting thoughts as reactions within me during the day when facing something what I judge, react with instead of directly, silently, equal as one live.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have defined/thought/accepted things and tools and methods and substances/stimulations/energies to silent myself within and living the relationship what I have accepted towards these to induce the experience of silence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that what I ‘let there’ within my mind – it will not disappear by itself unless I stop it and remove and correct myself not reacting the same way.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within breathing I have developed a method by thinking being aware of the breath meanwhile thinking and feeling like focusing on breathing and in fact thinking and controlling breath.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be absolutely specific to thought patterns, each to see what is the starting point, reason, the specific fear I go into it and learn how to practically decompose and remember to PREVENT it when it comes again.

I forgive myself that I have never realized the simplicity within Self-honesty to see what I am accepting and allowing within and taking granted what is within as it is who I am and never questioning it every time when I am not fully aware to the utmost degree of what I am doing, how I am feeling, why I am thinking.

I forgive myself that I have not realized why and when I go into thinking according to what exactly I do with my human physical body and reckoning the patterns I go into the mind while stimulating it with those specific body postures, movements.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize why I exactly fear from facing and correcting myself with the points I think about and not realizing that I am completely able to overcome the fear and face it and let it go if I use the tools of consistent writing, Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, breathing within physical presence, Self-correction and Self-commitments step by step.

When and as I notice a thought – I realize until I correct the reason and fear as self-dishonesty it means in physical – it will remain as myself as creation as separated from me in and as the mind as thought.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that until I do not correct physically the reason, the fear as Self-dishonesty the thought means – it will remain as myself as creation as separated from me in and as the mind as thought.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that correcting physically a thought means standing within the understanding how and why it’s been created and live correction to not fall into the energetic temptation of the mind again and remain stable, consistent within the decision of Self-correction.

When and as I do not realize I am thinking – I realize I must be thinking that’s why I am not aware of am I thinking or not – therefore I slow down, and stop within – and I breathe.

When and as I am stopping and breathing here – I realize it is nothing to be judged, fear, think – I stop participate within polarity of the mind defining that I am deep in silence or I am at the surface – I am here, I am present, I disregard thoughts within the understanding how and why they come.

When and as I think of things – I realize I fear not being able to deal with it or fear from forgetting or fear from making a mistake or fear from consequence or fear from who I am and what I will manifest – I slow down – I stop – I breathe and I realize I am here – there here-ness I am and I trust myself here and if I mistake – I do not judge, I correct myself, I forgive myself, I learn, I change, I live unconditionally.

When and as I fear from making a mistake – I realize I am not the mistake and I do not require to define myself by mistakes – but take responsibility and consider consequences within common sense and trust myself and see what comes up in regards to doubt and specifically forgive, let go that and expand within self-trust breath by breath.

When and as I think about women – I realize it is fear and desire and I stop it and I realize – I act rather than react – there is nothing to be fear from and there is nothing to be desired – I am expression here.

When and as I experience devotion, desire I realize it is from energy of mind – it is not myself – I am letting go desire and use common sense and let go all definition-based judgments what cause me to feel lacking and not acting and not question the feelings within Self-honesty.

When and as I think about money – I slow down and I consider facts and I use common sense and I realize fear and worry does not assist and feeling good about having money is the same as worry not having – distraction from here within polarity according to fear or the equation to fear therefore I stop, I breathe, I let it go unconditionally.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts coming up in my mind and directly be here and trust myself to not need to have a reaction/inner dialogue/backchat to judge/define/tell me what is happening, who I am, who I must be.

I commit myself to not accept any thoughts by default and I commit myself to not trust thoughts as myself but realize that it is a consequence of previously accepted separation from what is here.

I commit myself to stop defining silence within based on polarity and realizing I am here within presence or not and there is no middle ground – and the compass is Self-honesty and physical breathing.

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