[JTL 110] Waking up in the morning as moment as me

“I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to wake up in the morning as the breath as me as the moment as me.”

That was a relevant moment in my life realizing the importance of

That is quite a milestone for self-realization to acknowledge the importance to wake up as clear mind as possible – to start with clean, blank state – no thoughts, no worry, no fear – more practically: no internal echo, dialogue, monologue, words spiraling around within – especially through the process of waking.

For that to realize why it is required to write daily to let go the last day and solve everything possible IN THE HEAD.

The resting will be more effective, the sleep will be more healing, regenerating and of course the waking process for the next day: as to say: innocent birthing for tomorrow is not something too far fetched to disregard in terms of PREVENTING confusion, anxiety, worry and ineffectiveness; more obviously: more calm, relaxed, stable and PRESENT participation within what is relevant, -the reality shared with all others: physical.

The waking process itself I always find fascinating, as I come to alive as who I have accumulated to accept to be as myself the days before – so in a way as I wake up is the result of my past – that then make sense to release and let go inner conflicts to embrace the next day as directly as possible without the noise of the thoughts, feelings, emotions.

Also I’ve noticed how accumulates the Self-forgiveness within deepening the understanding of how I have accepted and allowed thoughts to drive, entertain, stimulate me and fuel my personality of mind which is a layer between direct reality and my beingness referred as perceived separation which can and should be investigated as it is not a simple thing, not something what can be just ‘realized’ in a moment but the physical body’s behavior has been literally became the carrier of this layer’s starting point’s as personality, character, and by external stimulus it can be automatic and that can be changed – not circumstances, family, school, media create me – I stop that step by step and I create myself – I am already created, I am already creation – so walking backwards within understanding is required to exactly know the WHY and HOW and by that becoming able to DECIDE to STOP it as who I have became and it is very practical to investigate thoughts, the waking process and the experience when nothing is moving within but acting within Self-trust without any perceived separation from what is here as ourselves.

Therefore I walk some Self-forgiveness each day what comes up at waking process as thoughts – as the reflection of what I experience myself separated, perceiving as problems, issues within what I do not trust myself unconditionally, consistently, naturally that I can take, direct, solve without any fear – as what is thought but drop the constant physical presence and by that freezing the constant expression as acting, speaking, writing, inner silence – that’s why comes up within the inner reflection, feedback system: that is not the real deal – that is my personal reflection – the result of my perceived separation’s starting point – so I have to understand if first – not just react to that thought, worry, anxiety by default – as ‘my perceived’ default might not be what is really best for me, best for all – and awareness starts with being able to consider that, constantly.

What worried about this before the most, that when I will have my ‘fun’, ‘entertainment’ and ‘joy’ and the more I walk the 7 years of Journey to Life, I realize more and more that the previously perceived ‘entertainment’, ‘joy, ‘fun’ was mostly a second level occupation for covering the facts, that I am accepting myself being separated from my true beingness, what is directly here, as body, as physical, as all, as substance.

One can re-define fun, joy, entertainment what still can be enjoyable, but what matters most is the starting point as who I am within this particular expression and how and why I am doing it and is it direct joy without any reason of dishonesty?

Parents and schools do not teach this to be aware of, therefore we are where we are here as human society and that’s why it is never too late to ‘re-educate’ ourselves with the starting point of LIFE, not as energy, love as these are merely bandaids for the already existing problems – and then love can become life, energy can be equally available for all and that can be supported physically, within this current system: politically – there is nothing what from we can separate ourselves in this existence what for we should not take responsibility for – as one starts stopping the thoughts within understanding and self-correction through applying Self-forgiveness – the limits will not stop, the whole existence is in fact Self.

That can be quite shocking when starts coming in – in terms of realizing responsibility and consequences of even one thought or deed  – disregarding one breath while acting based on reaction what was passed through the generations before ourselves – but to consider the generations to come, the children to come as who they really are as ourselves: it is more and more real and for that it is imperative to realize that not becoming the ‘savior syndrome’ and taking huge things onto our shoulder but to realize this: for me it took years, I know but the sooner one starts to grasp, the better:

to stand as all as one as equal as individual self within oneness and equality

and myself being responsible for my internal system, my direct external system while consider the whole system and with simple principles applying ensuring the greater, measurable good:

  • do onto others what you would like to receive
  • thy love your neighbor as thyself
  • what is best for the one is what is best for all

So within applying the simple tools one can realize that first to stop the thought cycles of conscious mind is relevant, possible and already a responsibility for each.

So I write and say Self-forgiveness on waking up as moment as me, breath as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not wake up in the morning as moment as me, as breath as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am thinking is still the dream sequence and letting it ‘flow through’ and then not realizing that I am here already but focusing to the thoughts and then another thoughts and then another thoughts and not realizing that I am allowing the thoughts instead of simply stop and breathe and act and wake up physically.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within thinking I am disregarding my body, my breath, my direct self-trust here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry in the morning in the bed about things I did not do yesterday or the things I have to do today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from facing consequences today of what I have done yesterday or what I have not done yesterday.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from doing something today or fear from not doing something today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the same will happen as yesterday or before and judging it as bad or avoidable or negative what I do not want to repeat or face again because it felt as bad, avoidable, negative and not realizing that my starting point was of separtion through opinion as knowledge of disregarding facts.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that even one thought is enough to start the mind system as who I have developed through the years as personality to tell me who I must be, what I must experience and what I can do and what I can not and believing myself to be that, only that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define morning tiredness, dullness, slowness as lack of energy and not realizing that the mind requires energy through thoughts, judgments, definitions, friction, polarity, conflict which through it can have energy to flow within and by that fueling more thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions, reactions and by that I am separated from what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted morning tiredness as myself as equal as one and never considering that it is the mind how it is experiencing without enough energy therefore wanting to think and react and feel negative or positive about something and by that having energy to become energetic, dynamic and by that waking up as feeling good and not realizing that it is already a result of participating within past-definition of separation from what is directly here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the mind separated from me therefore not having directive principle as equal as one as myself and not realizing that the solution is to stand within unification as the mind as myself and stop the physical patterns, stop the reaction to physical patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I’ve defined myself how I am present and directive based on energy of thoughts, judgments, reactions and never considering to disregard this energy and express myself simply here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that with each thought I participate within – I am not aware of my breath and by that I am dropping presence – even for a microsecond but the consistency is broken and by that judgment, a separation has been marked what has it’s consequence as not being aware what is here and reacting based on what is of mind what is based on not fact but opinion what might be real, might not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about good things in the morning in the bed when I wake up automatically for to have a feeling for waking up because if I wake up I will come closer to the thing I feel good about to do and by that having the energy of positive feeling already ‘being there’ within the feel so then that is like a law of attraction that I am being attracted to actually manifest that feeling because it is just like a ‘preview’ feeling but to fullfill it – it might be better ‘feeling’ – what is absolutely not sure – but the feeling I still accept and participate within and allow and not realizing that is simply self-delusion based on past-judgments coming alive according to my current location as defining myself as ‘today’, ‘close’ for the thing I define as good for my interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself what I have not done yesterday as thinking that I have to do it today and then thinking that today I have to make more effort for doing so than yesterday when the chance was here – and today I have to push it and judging myself as ‘fool’ and thinking this is ‘not best practice’ and by that having a feeling of ‘oh shit I have to do it before it escalates more’ and by that actually deciding the thing to do what I should have done yesterday and only doing it because of the fear of next day’s more intense self-judments and reactions and feeling ‘shitty’ about it and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about small things that those are irrelevant and I can postpone those without much consequence and not realizing that those accumulate and from small things becaome big things and then doing those only by the judgment of the ‘size’ of things I have to do and always prioritizing like this based on the feelings I have based on judgments of how important these are to do or how much accumulated specific small things to do instead of doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware when I think about something and meanwhile not realizing that I feel inferior to face acting directly about or in relation to that
and by that inferiority – accepting the thing I’ve judged and the thought about it as greater, superior, bigger and by that feeling I have to think about it in order to ‘prepare’ or ‘see through’ or ‘understand’ and believing that within and through thinking about it I actually am practical instead of realizing that I am simply using definitions of the past to define it based on schemas what might be not the same way applyable as I felt before especially within realizing: the specific jugments are points wherein I did not trust myself directly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as tiredness and not see directly that when I wake up is that a physical tiredness and the need to sleep more – or it is a mind-tiredness because of lacking energy because feeling low based on not participating within thought/feeling patterns what with I can feel high, energetic, positive, cheerful with what I defined myself to be able to ‘overcome’ tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the feeling of tiredness, dullness, dizzyness, sleepiness what I can experience in the mornings is the entire mind I’ve defined myself to be and moving through that without motivation or reason feels difficult – that difficulty is my suppressed anger transformed to depression about the things I have not done what I wanted and the reactions, judgments what I did not want forming a personality.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within waking up process it requires a time because all the thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, definitions, rules, relationship my mind is busy loading up and initializing in order to have this consciousness experience through I allowed myself to participate within world system as who I defined myself to be through the accumulation of judgments and definitions of who I am in relation to thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that each day I can commit myself to not wake up thinking and accumulate will, decision and seeing what is coming up and understanding it, writing about it, forgiving it, and specifying the practical stopping I can wake up in the morning as no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I do not sleep enough, I will be tired and my presence will be less direct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define tiredness as participating more in thoughts, feelings, emotions and not realizing that when I am tired, I am giving into reactions in order to get energy and by that energy remaining apparently ‘alive’ and not realizing that in that I am not directly myself here but through reactions what is not really myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define energy of mind as myself, energy of thoughts as myself, energy of feelings as myself, energy of emotions as myself and never considering to stop that, investigate that, prevent that and be here and see when it comes and stopping myself and stopping into that, reacting to that, creating that by simply directly breath and act and trust myself within absolute presence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that my human physical body is indicating where I am currently through breath, through how I am aware of the parts, the whole physical around and as myself.

When and as I wake up in the morning, I breath directly here, I am slow within, I am still, I am present, I am physical.

When and as I wake up any time I am breathing, slowly, I am calm, relaxed, I am not going into rushing, I am not going into running, I am not worrying.

When and as I see rush, run, worry, busyiness within waking up – I direct myself to slow down, I feel the breath, I experience the breath, I am breath.

When and as I wake up within realizing I am thinking – I let it go – I breathe, I experience my physical body, how it feels directly, how I am breathing, how I am present, what is here.

When and as I am here within waking up – I trust myself unconditionally to face the day without morning thinking, I direct myself to push and explore myself through the day without judgment, without thought, without reaction but direct expression breath by breath.

When and as I lose presence, direct, physical, breathing presence – I slow down, I focus to what is here, where is my location, Where is my breath? Here is my breath, Where am I? Here I am.

When and as worry that I have to face something what I did not face yesterday, before yesterday but should had – I realize – I trust myself within direct expression here – I am self-trust, I am self-presence, I am directly here and whatever comes up – I keep directing myself and when things get out of my presence – I slow down and I let everything go within and realize the only real is what is here – always.

When and as I fear from consequences of yesterday, before yesterday to face today in the morning, in the bed – I realize I can assist and support myself through writing to script myself up for constancy, stability and apply self-forgiveness for the points I fear from within realizing what is actually fear losing, with what I do not direct myself as equal as one and stop the participation within perceived separation and express self-trust breath by breath.

When and as I think about good or bad things in the morning when I wake up – I slow down and breathe and I realize/see/understand that all judgment is for feelings what are for bandaiding fear – so I stop the fear, I focus to body and presence and I trust myself here unconditionally.

When and as I feel uncomfortable waking up – I stop everyhing I participate within and let go – and breathe for a while until I am empty within the mind and see what is coming up and why is coming up and apply common sense within self-honesty unconditionally.

When and as I feel tired when I wake up in the morning I check how much I did sleep and I see within that is my body tired or I feel dizzy in the mind because of no energy – and when there is no energy – I move – directly move and I forgive myself for needing energy to direct me, move me and I move and breath.

When and as I worry that I will be tired afternoon when I did not sleep much – I breathe, I slow down and focus one breath at a time to what is here and going through the day moment by moment without accumulating worry in the beginning.

When and as I fear from getting sick when did not sleep enough – I realize I can use common sense and give my body full rest and when it does not rest within 5-6 hours I consider what is the burden what is blocking me to rest and investigate, write, forgive that unconditionally.

I commit myself to wake up in the morning as moment as me, breath as me.

I commit myself to disregard, stop, prevent thoughts in the morning when I wake up and be presence, constant here-ness.

I commit myself to accumulate self-direction within stopping the need for thoughts day by day and allow myself to trust myself within wake up as the moment as self as equal as one.

I commit myself to investigate and physically solve all issues what comes up within the mind as thoughts, as fear to remain empty, clear within.

I commit myself to clear my mind when I go to sleep and see what is coming up as worry, fear, feeling as positive or negative as emotion and deal with it so then I can sleep within inner peace with myself and allow myself to wake up in the morning as empty as possible.

I commit myself to investigate and deal with all thoughts coming up within as self-reflection internal feedback wherein within my life I am not standing within direct unification and what is the reason for trusting past, definitions, thoughts, energy to tell me what to do, how to feel and correcting myself by preventing to participate and allow thoughts within, one by one until I am here.

Breath support from EQAFE
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s