|undefine the moment|
I always defined energy as good, the more, the better.
The experience of energy, self, experience itself.
Simply believing that the only reason I am not shining in all ways is that I am lack of energy so then I must generate more and I will feel more powerful.
That obviously some crazy superhero shit, I know. That was never really on my tongue, however the truth is something like that what is in and as the mind consciousness of this one, I am telling here.
So then problems obviously came, especially when the mind consciousness system is overcharged, supercharged, melted down and liquified – everything seems to be unified however I am fully automatic yet not obvious; not only for others but myself because this first/second level of experience thing was never understood.
Today we are standing on the roof with my mate and I was able to explain to him how I do not believe and take granted experience.
I do not believe in experience, that would sound like not myself – or am I one with experience? Or equal as? See? That is the point.
The certain level of directness and lack of lack of wholeness.
- The second level of experience means that I am taking granted definitions, rules, limitations, memories, reactions, feelings, thoughts, emotions which through I am interacting not only with the world but actually myself as well – and therefore everything is of this superimposed experience.
Experience of experience through experience – isn’t it obvious? Am I experience? No, that is not stable, not consistent, not real.
Even the experience of myself? Isn’t that constant, same yesterday, today, tomorrow? Can I already trust Experience? Obviously should not, especially when within the Journey of Self-honesty I realize, this is only the second level of experience.
The first is what I am not aware of, the direct surface of here-ness, undefined, un-judged, unborn moment unfolding through each physical breath.
That intimacy with physical, real facts, constantly, always every here can not be defined as experience because then I am not anymore the expert of this mind of science fence ignorance remembrance of ideas and associations, even instincts are of the past!
Am I crazy about the past? Right damn, it is not relevant, especially if I have fallen into the second level of experience of the thoughts, feelings, emotions in any way whatsoever – but to KNOW that I have fallen is not enough here, because until I am not specifically am able to understand how and why I have fallen into this second level of intimacy filtering, manifesting physical consequence through the apparently protector, helper mind system of separation EXPERIENCE reference – I am trapped into my own self-creation based on the very reason I’ve chosen to not dare to be this first level of experience as direct physical expression.
So then the question is that how practical I can be in terms of expanding this self-intimacy within understanding and fully exposing myself to the direct elements of physical substance without any help other than being honest with myself here?
- Writing is pushing one to the edge of this second level of experience of the mind as word by word serializing the many dimensions what are busy actively already being experiences within and as oneself and that experience can be disregarded but only within the understanding how exactly it is secondary, made-up to protect oneself to experience and be just: experience itself.
I write it down – today: exactly within staring those eyes what I have seen, what I have felt, what I have thought, what I decided and what I experienced and then I see it – and I am empty within, I write down all this second level of experience of thoughts, feelings, emotions and I am directing myself into and as undefined first level direct, physical, substance experience.
That would be the alchemy – all the chemicals of my words and meanings to work with substances as self as physical as life itself directly, no separation, no definition, no purpose, no reason, no feeling, no light, no dark, no blue, no white, no thing – simply Life as Self Here.
And I see what comes up and I see it is from the second level of experience – I forgive – I give myself back for my first level of experience without priority, with outwards expression as I am for giving a new meaning of experience: I am here.
Energy what I experience in and as the mind – how exactly I experience? Exactly where? Can I name it, word it where? Is it in the mind or is there any indication of energy AS the human physical body?
Certain level of slowing down is required within to be able to see that the human physical body is picking up these resonances, in fact they are already consists of and exists as specific resonances based on our first and second level of experiences and our relationship, interaction, reaction with it.
That is surely a gift to consider because this body is of and as physical substance, not separated from the dust of universe which is the greatest support for the practical realization of and as SELF Here.
Within this I realize – this energy what I accumulate – is coming from somewhere and obviously goes to somewhere as well.
Once upon a time I was able to realize that energy is not an issue – I was always hungry and greedy for ENERGY – until I thought I am lacking it, however at one point I am endless energy – I AM THE SOURCE – so then not needing to run after energy, not requiring to produce, to trap, to ATTRACT it – just understand it’s dynamics with common sense and direct it as self with this direct, first level of experience.
And there is no wrong or good – nor that this second level of experience what I’ve named here would be bad – not at all – but it is the self-created and accepted limitation for protection of the precious idea, belief, religion of “SELF AS EXPERIENCE” – however it could never be realized, fulfilled, stabilized, unified with the universe because it is just an experience – and to take refugee within something what is not self here as fact – is simply untrustworthy.
Therefore it is unconditional to express that
- I FORGIVE myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to DEFINE myself as experience, to tell me who I am AS experience and by that manifesting and allowing myself to just be merely an EXPERIENCE.
- I forgive myself that I have never considered that experience does not last, it can not be trusted, specifically anything else but self here can not be trusted and never realizing what is self here what can be trusted.
- I forgive myself that I have never realized who I am what can be trusted unconditionally and always wanting, desiring and striving for something or someone to be able to trust unconditionally and never realizing that this is of a condition therefore as equal as one always creating, maintaining and experiencing self and trust and experience with conditions as oneness and equality.
- I forgive myself that I have not realized that who I’ve defined myself to be I’ve conditioned by experience and defined self according to and as experience.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define energy as experience and defining more energy as more experience and always wanting to experience to want to be as who I’ve defined myself to be and not realizing that it is a second level of experience through the polarity, mind system consciousness of thoughts, memories, pictures, desires, fears, feelings, emotions, what is of the friction created by the act of separation through experience not directly, here, undefined as physical, as substance.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can absorb and swallow and suppress energy, as much as I can, as much as I want, as much I need.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my state of strength, power, myself according to energy, amount of energy, definition of amount of energy, definition of quantity of energy based on experiences, definitions, memories specifically linked to the words joy, suffering, luck, fear, life, death, infinity, prison, heaven and hell.
- I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that at certain experiences I always return to the same words to define my experiences and then react with the same signature of energetic states.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the more energy I have and accumulate, the more I am strong, wise, realized and powerful and never considering my human physical body as a living organism as equilibrium.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider that each participation within and as the mind – seeps of physical life force energy from the human physical body tissues and fueling the mind consciousness system who I defined myself to be and identified myself with which I persuaded myself and others that this is life however it is exactly the opposite.
- I commit myself to stop defining myself as experience, I stop defining experience, I stop defining myself.
- I commit myself to stop needing experience, I commit myself to stop needing energy, defining myself as and through energy and realizing that I am already physical energy.
- I commit myself to stop defining energy as polarity as quantity as less and more, enough and not enough, too much and I stop reacting with the second level of experience of thoughts, feelings, emotions to direct myself to be the first level of experience without defining myself, the experience, the presence, anything – I remain undefined, clear, empty, embracing and directive as direct physical substance.
- I commit myself to stop fearing from always changing within taking refugee within and as experience and I stop changing by and as experience.
- I commit myself to realize that I can not trust any definition, feeling, thought, emotion which is not here, direct as physical substance experience.
When and as I use thoughts, feelings, emotions: I realize I do not trust directly myself as experience as reality here as physical substance because I allowed friction, conflict within and as me, so I stop, I investigate, I breathe, I forgive, I write, I correct and I change.
Within that I realize the spark of fear what my mate mentioned on the roof:
To disregard and ‘come down’ from the second level of experience of and as the mind consciousness system – there is this fear that without that one can not function, be, express properly, or at all and becoming zombie, an empty shell, a robot, a soulless vector within space-time of existence.
But in fact if we use common sense – it is obvious that what we fear is nothing but our limitation to expose that any of this ‘second level of experience'(I just stick to this though this post for easy reference) of thoughts, feelings, emotions of mind – is already the very reason we are not in direct relationship with reality itself as ourselves as equal as one – because within thinking – one is reacting and using memory, using definitions, using energy, using experience to trust instead of self as moment directly here.
And that seems tempting especially when direct physical experience is not beautiful, peaceful, pleasant, good, cool, high, delightful, lovely, but actually the opposite: massive destruction, abuse, disregard of all what is here as life as animals, as children, as women, as war, rape, murder, starvation, chemical, nuclear, biological warfare on all fronts of every level of human systems through political, monetary, educational, economic, religious and psychological manifestations as we currently entail and exist as referred as: human civilization.
So I see, tough to come down from the energy field of the mind, but within that there will be no satisfaction anyways – just common sense again – directly here – because facts do not change by experience – experience change by facts.
Therefore we propose different pillars of solutions for the troubles of humanity which has been already tested, cross-referenced, stood out the years and will be more and more stable, practical and obvious that these are literally for what is best for all.
Certain amount of bravery, questioning of the authority experience is required to become aware of the Lack of Self-honesty we accept ourselves to exist within and then the Understanding is the requirement and inevitability of Process of Self-realization, assisted by the basic principles of
-do onto others what you would like to receive
-thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself
-equality and oneness as all as one as equal as life here
To realize what is Mind, what is not, what is Self and what is not, what is Support and what is practical Self-honesty:
DESTENI I PROCESS LITE (free)
For effectiveness and responsibility to be able to handle:
For Establishing Life-values within Self- and Partnership Agreement:
DESTENI I PROCESS AGREEMENT COURSE
Self-perfection Audio Interviews Store(many many free support
And to understand why some of these are for money, investigate
As the money is for supporting the ones who are assisting to not fight surviving and to establish a practical trust within a group of equals who are walking the process of dedication for life to manifest which can be best for all in all levels, not just politically, financially, but psychologically.
And the money also goes for supporting the various researches are being done by the Equal Life Foundation.
I am pretty sure this money is not going for self-interest and abuse – but if one does not believe it: