[JTL 98] Expression without energy directly here

I forgive myself that I have never considered to express myself without inner reactions, not realizing that this inner space I’ve defined is not real and not supporting me as Life but separates my beingness from direct here.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that within allowing myself to react inside what only myself I feel, I think, I become emotional is a reaction for the fact that I wanted to feel separated from what is here in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that within thinking and speaking to myself actually I am within fear of not being able to directly see, understand, realize what is here, who I am, what to do and why I am here.

I forgive myself that I have not considered that within fear from not being able to understand/realize/see who I am without thoughts/feelings/emotions is based on the personality, character I’ve learned to became in order to survive and protect who I perceived myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have not considered that within any moment giving into fear I actually manifest inner reactions what will generate energy which is friction what I experience as myself and only myself, as separated from what is here in and as the physical and not considering that this energy is coming from the physical, here.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that everything here is of and as the physical and without it who I’ve defined myself to experience, feel, be by and as energy is gone, therefore within any lack of consideration of physical here is in fact I disregard who I really am as substance.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within fear from not having energy, enough energy, good energy, positive energy actually I am already within and as energy who I define myself to be and use as reference to be who I perceive myself to be and use this as comparison and starting point to tell me who I am of and as energy by and as disregarding what is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from what energy I will experience within myself if I do things what I have defined as negative and not realizing that what I feel as energy is not real – but as consequence of accumulation of disregarding who I am as substance which is neither positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk into situations wherein I stop feeling positive energy, start feeling negative energy as tension, resistance, anxiousness and not realizing that this energy reaction is showing me what I have allowed myself to automatically be defined by and as the circumstance I am within and actually this is the moment when I can understand how and why I abdicated my direct presence and re-align myself as starting point as, direct, physical.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that my physical body as being naturally present and physically feel good is not the same when I have energetic reactions towards defining and reacting to things what I’ve defined as good for me, others and by the reaction and energy movement feeling good, separated from direct physical presence.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to differentiate from what is physical direct here feel to what I feel within me of and as energy as reaction by and as thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from feeling physically good which is an indication that I am within and as my human physical body and currently being alright, because judging it as bad as self-interest within the fear of having this as mind-experience and fear from remaining so therefore by this fear actually not being able to be relaxed and natural within and as direct here-ness as physical presence as feeling good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from feeling good as defining myself who I perceive myself to be as can not be trusted within what I experience as good within the constant need for defining good and avoiding what I’ve defined as bad and within not trusting this yet doing it actually I’ve manifested not trusting myself in every moment at all.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that not need to define physically feel alright as good, and by this definition actually feel good in and as reactions and by that have this ‘feel good’, just because I’ve defined and accepted myself to not be able to constantly be aware of the body, how the body feels, how it is ‘doing’, ‘going’.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I can trust myself within taking the time to experience my human physical body to be here and to realize that this idea of ‘having and taking the time’ in and as my body here is who I am currently and not needing to have a reason, a justification for why I put my starting point in and as the body.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that any reason for why putting my starting point in and as my human physical body here is of and as the mind as personality of lack of self-trust as manifested consequence of fear.

I am here, i am grateful being here, direct, physical human body.

I do not require a reason to experience, to feel, to be this body who I am manifested as physical flesh.

I let go the need, the strive, the tendency to disregard physical presence by focusing to energetic movements, reactions to thoughts, feelings and emotions and I am directly here in every moment, constantly, consistently with no reason, no gain, no hope, no fear.

I understand, realize, remember that I trust myself to be direct physical flesh with no thoughts, reactions, emotions, feelings required but be direct expression, presence, consistency.

When and as I experience disregarding physical presence of focusing to thoughts, feelings, emotions, definitions, I stop it, I re-align myself to be here, as the body, as my feet, arms, trunk, head as one as equal as myself undefined, breathing.

When and as I experience tension forming in and as my human physical body by disregarding what I actually do here and focusing, choosing, following energy within and go into the polarity game of positive, negative in and as the mind, I stop it, I stop myself, I breathe, I let go, I become comfortable and relaxed within what I actually do physically and I re-align myself as self as flesh as physical unconditionally.

When and as I fear from losing my physical presence by going into situation wherein I have memory of losing my presence within reactions towards points I’ve defined as separated from me by requiring to define positive and negative within the starting point of fear – I let it all go – I breathe, I embrace the moment as everything is here as myself and I trust myself and remain inner silent and I act.

When and as I doubt within myself to be able to express myself and not fall and fail – I realize it is of memory as fear, so I stop it, I breathe, I re-align myself to be and as the physical body as direct expression and I forgive myself what I have allowed myself to react to and be defined by as energy and I let go all energy and I trust myself here unconditionally.

I commit myself to remain always here in and as the physical body as flesh as substance as Life unconditionally and disregard all energy, all thoughts, all feelings, all emotions within the realization that these are of and as the personality of the mind as accumulation of fear, doubt, separation.

I commit myself to be comfortable and consistent within and as being present in every moment unconditionally, always the same, as myself yesterday, today, tomorrow within the consideration of what is best for me is what is best for all.

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