[JTL 50] Stop the force to change: be principle

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I want to take everything internally and disregard externally as having a starting point as myself as my mind only here and not realizing that the inner is equal with the outer meaning that if I do not deal with my physical reality as equal as one as my internal reality – I am still of and as separation as fear from letting go self-definitions of who I am instead of remaining undefined within physical action.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that I can not separate myself from my direct physical reality within the consideration only of my experiences who I am in this moment and believing within the religion of self as something existing ‘standalone’ within the whole and not realizing that this perception is a bubble of consciousness what always bursts – with absolute self-honesty applied in each moment or will facing manifesting consequence equal and one with the self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from dealing with my external reality the same as myself as equal as one within the perception that I might cause harm and manifest consequences what I do not want to face or even the fear that within facing consequence of self-dishonest starting point I might go into further self-dishonesty within self-judgment as shame and remorse and by that being consumed as infinite loop of regret.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust myself here as self-honesty and see everything within reality for myself by directly experiencing what I am doing and within self-trust directing myself to live by and as principle of equalizing myself to remain constantly within the consideration of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the temptation of fear from consequences of already manifested self-dishonesty within me such as desire and shame and regret and wanting to pursue or avoid what I’ve defined as desirable or avoidable within the interest of myself meanwhile disregarding the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself with the belief that I can skip facing consequences of what I’ve allowed to manifest already and within the occupation of consciousness of thoughts, feelings and emotions hypnotizing myself that this one more moment I should remain within the mind and then everything will be fine and not realizing that I’ve programmed my mind to always be one moment faster and ahead of me exactly showing equally to myself that I am running away from myself constantly with thoughts, feelings, emotions but in fact can not.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that the solution is simply stop, to slow down within and see where my mind takes me and taking self-direction and seeing everything within reverse and inverting my mind meaning bringing myself back here wherein my body is breathing and disregarding all the imaginations what with I try to figure out/solve/avoid the problems I face and not realizing that my starting point is of the mind which through I am unable to deal with reality as myself because of this perceived separation from reality as myself as a standalone entity what is in this reality but not of this reality.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that I’ve programmed myself to certain specific situations to allow myself to compromise myself within thinking and the solution is always simply slowing down and disregarding thoughts and trusting myself as breathing action within the consistent consideration of the simple principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that I’ve been fighting within myself in order to breath properly meanwhile not realizing that what I am fighting within is also myself a part of me what I experience as separated and the systematic self part of me is also fighting for it’s own surviving because of the same starting point as myself within the fear of not being real and fear of not being able to direct myself as who I am and the solution is the action within relaxed physical application meanwhile disregarding thoughts, feelings and emotions what are the main fuel for the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-direction and deal with my direct surroundings meaning my home, my city, my family, my workplace, my presence wherein I am in fact located within the interest of my beliefs and fears based on pre-programmed preferences since childhood or based on preferences what I’ve allowed to evolve within according to energetic experiences such as participating within self-definitions and self-judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I’ve allowed part of my life ‘to go as it goes’ by itself and not taking self-direction as equal as one as my presence here within the perception and belief that that part does not matter and irrelevant meanwhile in fact constantly experiencing these manifestations for instance mess around me and allowing people to be dishonest meanwhile hoping or fearing that if I stand up and take direction they might not love or accept me what would then mean that I’d remain alone.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that within stopping it is not about force and energy but self-honesty and when I am unable to move myself directly within the consideration of what is best for all – I am facing a point of self-dishonesty what is hidden what I am suppressing what I am denying what I do not want to see what I programmed myself to miss and disregard and by the energetic experiences of thoughts, feelings, emotions trying to brute force something is the indication that I am not specific to the utmost degree within self-realization about in fact how I’ve created myself and clearly and constantly seeing exactly why.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to consider that all fighting within is because I did not want to really realize but wanted to serve my self-interest and self-ignorance within the consideration only of experiences what within I’ve taken refugee as my source and destination and never realizing the actual real source as the physical reality and equal and one with it and as it as my human physical body here busy breathing.

When and as I define myself as separated from existence as whole – I realize there is a reason for doing so within the self-interest what I do not want to realize and the starting point is fear of loss based on a self-definition what is of the religion of self what is not real – therefore I direct myself as full of my being to stop defining myself by disregarding self-definitions by regarding what is here as real as the physical as breathing.

When and as I force myself within I realize I am manifesting friction by not understanding how and why I am manifested as manifested conflict based on self-dishonesty therefore I stop and see within myself practically what is the reason that there are parts of myself what is not unified here.

When and as I force myself to change I realize that the force I am using to change is of personality of self-interest of energy of thoughts, feelings and emotions and by that realization I stop participating within and I regard and embrace physical here and considering what is best for me is what is best for all and I do not force myself but direct myself as self-will as decision and if there is a resistance within what is conditional – I investigate within self-intimacy and explore my abdicated responsibility within and as self-forgiveness.

When and as I disregard physical here – I realize I am accumulating conflict within and by that I am responsible for conflict manifesting equally as one as physical existence therefore I stop.

I commit myself to stop the conflict and friction within me and by that the personalities within me what fights for energetic domination and direct myself by force of accumulation of participating energetic reactions within me as thoughts, feelings and emotions what are the reflection and inversion of my already manifested consequence of self-dishonesty what I simply, unconditionally and directly stop breath by breath embracing the physical what is real as here as myself and considering that consciousness is not physical and is energy what is taking energy from the physical therefore I commit myself to remain as starting point as source as the physical as principle as life.

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