Self-forgiveness: Agreement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feelings drive me instead of myself, as presence I direct me always here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if something is not comfortable, I should avoid it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreement as difficult.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define agreement as hell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I always must walk towards difficulty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as somebody who is difficult.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that within an agreement I can not be myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that within agreement I must give up myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within agreement I must let go everything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am very difficult to be with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as somebody who likes to be alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within agreement I can be myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that within agreement I always must experience difficulty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that wanting to avoid something within the starting point of fear – I am responsible for attracting it into my reality as one as equal as my starting point as fear what I stop within every moment breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I am with somebody then I am within a relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am in a relationship because I am with somebody instead of realizing that within agreement the starting point is self here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my agreement will not work and it will become and remain a ‘relationship’ what I’ve defined as trap.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relationship as trap instead of realizing that relationship is a word what I give meaning by how I am living the word.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from failing within agreement because I’ve defined it as too intense instead of realizing that the intensity is also coming from myself, the source, here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as intense instead of realizing that the intensity is is also a word what I bring ‘alive’ by how I define and live physically.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I go into feelings for instance ‘sadness’ or ’emptyness’ – I am not directing myself here but I accept myself as reality as it already manifested – instead of realizing that I am the source, I can change, I can stop participate within feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put worth and value within feelings what I’ve defined as energetic experiences of myself instead of realizing that feelings are energetic experiences coming from the mind what I’ve allowed to become physically and I must walk the process of letting go constantly breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being exposed about how I am not stable within our agreement when allowing feelings to define how I behave instead of taking self-responsibility and facing the source which is myself and reveal the reason of such self-dishonesty and stop unconditionally to participate within feelings, thoughts, emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from remaining within feelings within agreement and wanting to stop agreement to stop experiencing feelings instead of directly stop participate and generate feelings and remain here all ways as physical as breath as action as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that everything I experience is hell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and say that everything here is hell and using it as justification to actually not change in the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within thinking I can think out myself from the mind so to speak instead of realizing that I do not need to exit the mind, I do not need to escape from the mind, I do not need to fight the mind – but simply stopping participate within the mind such as thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define stopping the mind as good, participate within the mind as bad instead of realizing that within polarizing myself within duality – actually I am still of and as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe that agreement with my partner is some form of competition wherein we must constantly strive for dominance to be able to direct the agreement as we individually imagine it to be – instead of realizing that within competition and fight – self always loses.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that within agreement I always have to obey the other’s requirements otherwise the agreement will fail and end.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take very seriously when within agreement I do not do something as I wanted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself to be serious when I feel like I am pushed too much.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself being pushed when my agreement partner asks something from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my agreement to be perfect instantly instead of realizing that this is a process being walked after the decision made for a life.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be able to embrace to walk an agreement for a lifetime because I am not sure that I can bear my partner every day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if my agreement would not work and with my partner would agree on stopping the agreement – then I am failed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being responsible for screwing up the agreement because I am not changing or I am not changing fast enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can change slowly only instead of realizing that self-change is a decision what must be walked physically within consistency.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when my partner tells me or asks me something what I do not want or I do not want to hear because then I am facing with myself what I defined as I do not want to face and this friction charge my energetic mind what I’ve defined as myself – instead of realizing that everything what I face, especially with my partner – is in fact myself what I must embrace and realize and transform into what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my partner as very difficult person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if my partner says something what I’ve defined as not as I’ve defined by myself then I get nervous instead of realizing that I am responsible for what I’ve defined as myself and in fact I can STOP participate within any self-definition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious when I feel like I am being attacked by my partner – instead of realizing that that I’ve defined myself as somebody who becomes anxious when feels like being attacked.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to change immediately because as who I’ve became did not happen in one moment as decision but contiuous acceptance of self-definition – so I’ve defined myself as somebody who can change slowly what is an excuse not to change immediately.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for how I experience myself instead of realizing that I am responsible for how I perceive myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as somebody who wheels up slowly and slows down slowly instead of realizing that this is how I’ve defined myself as but in fact I can define myself as instant, immediate and constant self-direction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as somebody who does not have emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as somebody who does not like emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as somebody who fights emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as somebody who suppresses emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress emotions so quickly that I am not even conscious about it and then I can remain within the perception of ‘I have no emotions’.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that how and why I suppress emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let emotions define how I experience myself and my reality.
i forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I suppress emotions because I can not stop generating them but I’ve defined emotions as something what I do not want to experience, be aware of in any way whatsoever because the fear that if I accept myself to have emotions then I am being influenced by emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define emotions as bad yet still suppressing them in order to be able to perceive myself as ’emotionless’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I experience, what I experience because of the fear that I might screw things up around me and not wanting to take self-responsibility for what I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define that I require suppress myself within my agreement in order to remain within the agreement instead of realizing that I can write out and forgive them as myself each one, specifically one by one until I am always here as direction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous when I am being faced with my suppressed emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my suppressed emotions towards my agreement partner because I blame her unconsciously what I experience because I’ve defined the following: because I experience this only with her, then it must be that it is because of her – instead of realizing that this is a basic blame game in order to not wanting to face my self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough instead of realizing that this is a justification to not change to as I would not judge myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from changing because within changing I will not be able to define myself as I used to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to how I define what I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the environment within I experience myself instead of being myself directly here the source of who I am as presence as self-will.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize self-dishonesties within me by myself and wanting to have somebody around to reflect back.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my agreement partner as somebody who makes me nervous instead of realizing that I am responsible for such inner reaction by accepted self-definition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from committing myself to one partner for a life because I’ve defined having a partner for long time as hell because within my past I experienced relationships what did not work and caused confusion and suffering.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being within a partnership with somebody as limitation and ordinary because I’ve defined it according to my definitions of my past-experiences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being exposed of my self-accepted self-dishonesties.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within argument in fact I am accepting myself within fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not being able to express myself within argument instead of realizing that within argument I am fighting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not being able to stop argument with my partner because I’ve defined that only within argument I can express myself to her instead of realizing that when I raise my voice and speed up my speak – in fact I am existing within fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility when I participate within argument instead of stopping and letting go the point for what I argue.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from remaining not being able to express my point of view instead of realizing that if I argue I am not directing myself here within common sense but I want to push down the other by force.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize when I start to argue in the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and project self-dishonesties within me towards to my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to persuade others by conviction because I’ve obsessed myself with the information instead of living practically.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to persuade others with information what I’ve defined as truth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest personalities within my behavior by trusting within knowledge and information instead of myself being here directing as self-presence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust within personalities instead of directly trusting myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back chat within my head about points what I fear of instead of unconditionally writing and forgiving the points about the thoughts to reveal the core of the self-dishonesty and prepare myself to STOP.

To be continued.,,

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