I am living as a surviver – I am surviving like the ones who are surfing – this implies the case when I was swimming with Esteni in the sea – and it was fascinating because I went in and I was enjoying the huge waves and then I went more in and then the waves were more strong and I could not stand them and they washed me away and then I was resisting and I was fighting against the water – basically against the ocean – and in fact I even enjoyed it – the fight, the fact that I was being pushed down and washed away and then Esteni came after me about the waves started to pull me out so I should come back – and then I realized that yes, I was a bit already tired and I was fighting and in that fight – in the beginning I was enjoying to fight it but then I simply slipped – I was not really myself anymore but this fight – as physically I was fighting for my life.
Yes, Esteni, I realized the point intensely as this happened already – almost exactly – I was in south India, near Goa at a beach called Paradise – lol it is called like – where I was with a greek girl who just literally arrived to india and we went into the water and then big waves came she immediately went deeper to avoid being crushed and I didn’t – I was very close to the rocks – and what happened that I was washed away and I felt myself literally like I was sitting in a washing machine. Then the wave was over and I was seeing that my head is not so far from rocks – and that contact could simply smash my head with all of my brain like a pumpkin over the rocks. In that moment she shouted for me that ‘It’s coming again’ – and I started to move but it was too late – the washing machine experience came again – but in this time I was sure that it comes with my physical end. I had some thoughts like ‘people in this cases tend to see their lives roll over before their eyes like a superfast videoclip? – and next thought was my mother’ and the next one was like ‘WTF?’- and then the wave came – it was a timeless experience – and when it was over I opened my eyes and I was squating front of a really unfriendly rock from my forehead about 5 centimeters.
Then I moved!
I moved like it does not matter what is going on but in this moment I move myself – in that first movement I bruised my hip hard but I continued to go out no matter what – and I managed to avoid the next wave.
Then something happened. Something definitely happened within myself because I was standing there – at paradise beach with a remarkable new scar on my body proving that I am still here.
Ok I did some vlogs about it after writing this…