hold, pain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself as human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how much I stress myself and my human physical body aa one as equal – expressing myself as fear and exposing myself as being hold back because of defining myself by past, by memories.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to express myself as living forgiveness and breath naturally – by holding desires, fears and hopes – instead of realizing that these are of illusion, self-delusion, self-deception. I am here who I am as presence as breath expression.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that what I fear of – I am not standing up as one and equal and stop this polarity manifestation as greater-smaller, more and less powerful etc.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider my presence as being naturally here as breath and allow myself to explore what is here as presence.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my desires after something is the very manifestation of self-abdication and self-doubt – because I desire because I do not experience and I do not experience because I define it separated from me instead of being here as oneness and equality with and as all me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am exhausted because I am not here as breath and mostly always was like this but I am becoming aware of how much I am of rigid fear by suppressing the breath of life as me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how much I give myself into programs based on impulses from outside and then becoming reactional instead of exploring what I am doing and being self-honest about why and stopping dishonesties such as being attracted to things, beings based on my definitions based on polarity.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that each situation when I experience intense resistance toward to be here as natural breath expression – and when these are what make my breath almost literally freeze – these situations are uncovering my personality manifestation based on fear – so I can realize what and how I am still allowing to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to freeze my breath when I experience physical pain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from situations whereabout I experienced pain before – and while I am defining a situation as possible painsource: reacting on the same way such as freezing breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my breath back when I experience pain and then after a while only realizing that breath I am and breath here can assist myself to experience fully the pain and realize why it is here and how I participated with and as self as physical pain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sweating down when I am experiencing physical pain and holding my breath back because literally petrifying from the intense experience and not being able to move but simply hoping and waiting for the pain’s disappear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself less than pain instead of being one and equal as the pain as self and act immediately such as breath expression as physical presence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that pain will go simply by doing nothing such as freezing my body and doing nothing and even holding my breath back – instead of acting immediately.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself according to avoiding physical pain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define physical pain as bad because I’ve define physical pain as uncontrollable, unavoidable, petrifying, blocking, degrading, mutilating, torturing.
I forgive myself that I have not considered to stop me being a mind system even when physical pain is raging within and as me as the physical manifestation of systems within and as my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have allowed to try to escape from physical pain into and as the mind with thoughts, emotions, feelings – instead of realizing that these are the very cause of the manifestation of the physical pain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a tendency to start thinking when I have continuous pain – and by accepting the pain, not acting but being petrified physically and escaping int and as mind dimension – by accepting myself as a slave of my pain/mind. I stand up for myself as me as the unification as being here and presence as breath and stopping accepting myself as thought patterns and applying self forgiveness and expressing self honesty as practical solution to explore self-stability as presence as inner silence.

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