embrace excite anxciety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as excited – not realizing that this is of a state of mind – a state of ‘highness’ and it has price.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed and even not being fully aware of what was the cause and then I am of this energetic experience of not pleasant and the focusability has reduced and I am not breathing naturally but I have to push extensively to remain here because I want to go to rest, I want to end this anxious embarrassed hightuned experience…

why it could happen?
I had some thought about Gy as I wrote an email to Bence about what was the situation me with Gy – so then I had some uncontrolled thoughts about this and then I came to home and I pulled out one hard drive of two and suddenly the winXp install worked and I was happy and I shouted some ‘xp goes up’ and then I realized that I forgot to buy butter and also this kind of energetic tiredness came up and I was very thirsty and hungry at a time – maybe it is exhausting of body experience…
so then I hate some yogurt and a bite of bakery-stuff and then I went out to shop to buy butter and I met two girls at the door and I was holding the door for them and it was loong loong time – about 3-5 seconds but seemed as 50 then I stepped out to the street and I had to say self forgiveness and breath and then entering the shop and then act and buy and pay and then came to home and then I continued to cook pasta and the install of xp and then I write this here.
I open myself here, this is who I am as breath – I embrace the embarrassment demon and I have no to fear or think or desire as I am here as expression as breath as all as one as equal…


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