Forgiveness self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself within the whining when things do not happen as i would like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to discriminate things what happen around me or to me when I experience dislikes – instead of being myself as directing principle and be one and equal with and as the situation – because then I am directly responsible and noone can be blamed only myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to avoid direct involvement into acts because then I would have the responsibility – or more likely I would have to face with the direct reflection of my act – because I did something and then the consequence is directly here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself when things happened on a different way as I wanted to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whine to my mother when she gave me mashed potatoes with melted cheese what she did in microwave oven because complaining of the hotness and heat of the stuff and for the one melted cheese peace because I am unable to chew it because of my mouthscars.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my mother to do what I want – and if not then I could blame her and not realizing that she does what she believes as best for me and if I am not sharing what I want or not directly doing – then I am the responsible, not her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my mother to serve me automatically instead of being me here the directing principle and not using anybody to please me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from intense pain within my mouth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from pain within my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize what my dreams about – about what I miss as transcendence point within the physical experiences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what I dream to not being aware about what I miss as dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to wake up in the morning as breath as me as moment as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest my fears to face them instead of being absolute self honest and releasing them unconditionally as inner silence.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I decide to think – I am compounding mind-energies what will charge out somehow within my existence as one as equal as my accepted and allowed participation within the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within choice about to actually think is good or solution or a defense from what I became already as structural resonance system within and as human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people instead of instantly realizing the self-defined self-relationship with my accepted and allowed separation as thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being disciplined and focused to do what I do until it’s done – by allowing myself to bouncing between occupations without focusing onto and as one and doing it as the total absolute presence as me – and pushing myself trough my limits.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that why I do the bouncing between occupations such as making music, videos, wanting things or trying other things out and after a while putting away them and choosing another – I do this instant self-divertion to not realize that after a while my own limits I face – and instead of pushing myself trough these self-defined self-contained limits – I simply give up and chosing another expression by using external excuses why I can not continue this expression.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I always step back because of excuses For instance to make my electric-dance-music – not making the tracks because of the lack of sound quality or the lack of the lack of those synths or equipments what I defined as necessary to make my own music – instead of realizing the fact that I am here and I can do whatever I want if I will myself and push myself and trust myself unconditionally and absolutely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make music to prove to myself that I can do musiclike art – instead of just expressing myself as the music as one as equal as who I am as inner silence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define music as art as special instead of just being one and equal with and as music within oneness and equality as inner silence without any memories popping up while listeninig or making music and breathing naturally here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to express myself unconditionally because of the response of others would hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress that I define myself according to others by my own definitions about normal and cool – instead of being here as moment and breathing and expressing myself unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to express myself naturally as what is within me – instead of realizing that if I have something to shame or as dishonesty – then as I am experiencing it – I can release immediately as self-forgiveness and self-corrective application — or expressing the inner dishonesty and within the physical act realizing my self-dishonesty and applying self forgiveness and self-correcting application as stopping immediately — or AFTER I expressed dishonesty then by taking the consequences realizing the fact that is not who I really am as all life as one as equal and then applying self forgiveness and correcting my act to not pacticipate anymore as being aware of my accepted and allowed dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with the illusion of now of consciousness by wanting everything right now and by that not considering all life as one as equal and revealing my self-interest and self-definition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to have a physical relationship with a girl because then that would determine and help me to remain mind consciousness system by the delusion of love and peace and joy instead of realizing that all beings are me as one as equal and a self-interested relationship wont last forever and then I will face with myself deliberately.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define physical beauty as the most important to choose who to be with.
I forgive myself that I havent accepted myself as who I am as Jozsef Berta and wanted to have another personalities what would gave the impression of I am not this person really – instead of realizing that who I am is in the physical.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I desire after a girl to be with and fondle with and hugging with and kissing with – I am desiring for myself, as I defined joy, pleasure and beauty as such beings as girls, women, sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to be happy when I have a relationship with a beautiful woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enwy to people who have a relationship with a appaarent beautiful girl, woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define beings according to my self-defined system called: beauty.
I forgive myself to desire to be with beautiful-bodied girls and women because then what I see is who I define myself with and as and therefore I could define my existence as beautiful or pleased.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as beauty. I am unifying myself here as beauty as one as equal as inner silence and being aware about not to define beauty in any wah whatso ever.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define joy and pleasure according to how much suppressed energetic system I can release.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from containing too much compounded emotional energies because then these could harm me by overwhelming body experiences or simply just loosing my head and giving into acts in order to release these manifestations and not me as self expression be the directive principle but the self-accepted consequence of the participation of the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go away from my here ness to go to the SA farm to get assistance to stop self-dishonesty — instead of trusting me here and not allowing myself to deceive myself and directing myself to explore self-corrective application as applying self-forgiveness and writing and sharing self-honesty unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire or believe that the portal or bernard or andrea or the others at the farm could make my process easier instead of realizing that I am always here who I am and my responsibility to stop the participation within the mind and explore who I really am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to forgive myself – revealing myself that I trust within my experiences as memories as personality instead of trusting myself here as expression as breath.

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