I had to sleep a bit more, I had to go to sleep early because I was kind of tired and then I dreamt. Yesterday or 2 days ago and in this morning also were kind of ‘stable’ dreams.
First one was very interesting and brought up some stuff from theese days.
The second one just happened and was really fun when I woke up.
I arrived to India – there are my friends, who just visited me because I gave back some money and they are kind of hippies. And we met and was strange because this couple was not together anymore and were in ‘peace with this’ and my friend the guy just jumped up and ran to another girl who I knew from past but I do not know who is in this real life, but he started to have sex with her just for some seconds for joy and maybe to show that he is occupied with this girl, and not the other who he is commited to in real life, who has also an other hippie guy already.
So it was on a HUGE hill around mountains and pits and was very green and was kind of amazing. And as this scene happened, after some seconds some guys came to me and they were clothed kind of authentic and sayed – ‘ah an another translator, welcome’ and was cool for them and I experienced this ‘ appretitiation’ and happiness because I will help to translate some stuffs.
And then I started to see the sky over the hill because there were about hundreds of horses and were flying around just like the flying ants and were sparky blue and yellow strong lighted and were really amazing experience to see this and I said right then, where is the camera, I have to record this, and I was around to find the cam and then I woke up in my room.
What I see atm in this dream:
-I redefined my friends as cool support because I had undefined fun with them again when they visited me(I gave back much money)(because I did not bring up the topic of self-honesty and organic robots etc, only spoke about farm a bit about when can I visit) as they appeared in my dream and I visited them in India – as they are going to there very soon(we were together there)
-I am sure that all relationships will fall – even their because they look very happy with each other and I see that is based on sex and also I got sex movies from a girl and there was this position what he repated in the dream
-We spoke about he wants to translate stuffs and I also decided to continue to translate SR articles and I want to get some appretiation about ‘I am translating this’ and to hand on others trough getting their illusionaric feedback from me
-And I am amazed with the light by it’s visual complicatedness and I want it to record to use it later as signifiing how much self-definition is based on memory and pictures(also with the sex and the people’s robes and the beautiful horses, nature, flies etc)
Next dream: I am somehow in a big house and I am doing something computer stuff when some child show up and they are playing – and then somehow there are some adults who starts to shout and make the children fear and I just stand up and take over the situation and I say them very determined to stop this abuse and I do not accept this and simply let theese kids to be.
And then somehow a girl shows up – maybe my ex, Eniko, but not sure, but looks like her a bit, and then somehow I start to explore the house and is like a tiny castle in a bigger house – and I see that I did set up multiple computers – 4 near the sleeping room and 4 at the living room and then suddenly people start to come and many people around me and many friends from past and some workmates and they enjoying this place and each other and me and I realise that holy shit, this is my new apartment, and I enjoy this whole shit and still exploring this big house and has trees on the court and kind of gothic dark stlye inside and there is a little room what I can look in but there is no door, and I start to wonder what is that and how I can not go in and then how it would be possible, and then people went and children are sleeping and then I see as a really big dark-armored styled clothed knight-like guy is arriving and looks very confident and self-determined, self-enjoying and he is looking at me and then start to look after things in the house and just moving and taking some and then I ask about who is he and what is this place and I realise I just occupied this house and maybe this is the owner and then now what will happen?
And he is smiling and he is saying that he has this house and he just starts to travel so I can be here and I do not understand and also ask about what is this about and how it can be and I was wondering about maybe Jack or Mykey did something and even I am not sure about what he answered but looks like I have new place and is cool and then I wake.
Hmm – this is about in the next days I start to find a new place because this is over soon.
And I had the desire to obtain big place to get receive many people to visit, as I did this in the past when I was in the smokey era and when people came, it was always just in time.
And about the kids, I lately listened the neighbour mother how she shouts almost screaming to her tiny kids and they start to cry and is total abuse and fear-based inprinting and I was at a time kind of pissed off but then realised is nothing to do with them (anyway shall I ring to them and say something profound?), but better to see my reactions and apply self-honesty.
Also as I see multiple computers in the dream what I obtain – I defined this as more cool and in fact more effective I can be on this way if I have more – because while one is processing, I still can do something on the other, and I have an intent to get big LCD screen to my laptop and this desire was manifested.
And I spoke with a girl and she said that in the past I was always with people and many houseparties and now I am kind of alone and closed and why and blablabla…
So probably I still have desire to have people around and I can be the center or the ‘owner of the place or party’ to get reactions from others to define me as good or happy or worthy.
Also when a girl popped up who looked my exwife – and I had not much intent to do something with her – as I am dechaining myself from her still – but I am not obsessed with her anymore.
Hmm and as the guy comes along who is big knight-like – I am actually facing with the past-self-doubts about how strong or big or muscular a man and how rich – and I could not be like this so I had to suppress and now releasing this and this guy is like a symbol of this, but still appeared a bit superior – because I felt inferiority.
Also when the mentioning of Jack and Mykey happens – as a hope to get help from dimensions – indicates my self-trust is not absolute here.
Also when I see the little room where is no door, but I can see in – about self-intimacy – there are places within me what I already see but I can not walk in to face yet but I am finding out how it can be…