Silence

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to experience the silence that is me, the moment as me, the breath as me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become very busy within my mind to actually running all the time with and as thoughts and feelings and emotions – instead of just breath here silently.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to not have any desire anymore.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to have more good computer just because then it would be more fast and more usable and I defined myself according to my computer because I spend much time front of it and in truth the computer is me – so within the self-definition I built up a need to be better instead of just enjoy what is here as me as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate instead of realising that I procastinate myself as who I really am.
I forgive myself that I have defined dialogue with an another human as I can not be this inner silence as breath and ‘pure expression as moment’.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that when I am not aware of the breath, when I do not hear here my breath as me – I am not here, but I am within and as the illusionaric mind what I created to hide from myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge other beings – instead of realising that other beings are actually me – and within the judgement: I judge myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according the picture presentation of myself.
I forgive myself that I supress desire and within my nightdreams I extensively experience sexual stories.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to substitute my sexual desire with the occupations what I do such as making music, videos.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to divert my attention from desire instead of just stopping desire within and as the moment when it happens trough applying self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to fear from lungcancer just because I had very intense pain within my breath.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program myself to define myself according the experience of fear.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself trough the memory what I can access about my experiences – instead of realising that is the actual judgement what I collected, and hold as self-definition what is totally illusionaric, separationbased and will disappear.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust me about I can be inner silent continously within my act and within my expression – stabily – this is what I must develop, this is who I am, this is life.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself trough manipulating the using of words according to memorybased-definition-judgement-polarity system.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to do things just to ‘loose the focus’ from the breath – not realising that within this very act I say ‘I do not want to hear, experience what is me here, I want to experience what is not here, what is not who I am’ – but it is impossible – I am all ways one and equal with and as who I am here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as thoughts.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as emotions.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as feelings.
i forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as the conscious mind.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as the subconscious mind.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as the unconscious mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to wake up in the morning as breath as me, as moment as me here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to forget in the morning that when I think, I am not here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define waking up in morning as thinking.
I do not need to think to actually wake up in the morning – I just wake up and I am here as breath as moment – without thouhts, without desires, without fears, without any emotion or excitedness or feeling.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to walk just breath inner silently when I walk to work.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think when I am on the tram with many other people, instead of dare myself to breath and remain inner silent and experience what is here as my presence.

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