In ten see

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the world noisy – and defining it as unbearable – to actually justifying this as a reason to escape into my mind where the noise of my own thoughts can be experienced.
I forgive myself that I wanted to escape from this world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to escape from this world, because I am limited, I want to escape from myself because is too intense.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being aware is too intense.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to find another solution to be aware but without this intense experience – instead of realising that being here is who I am within and as everything. So I stop this expression. I am here and the intensity is just an other definition – an other try to justifying the try of escape from the fact that I am here.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become embarrased from my own limits. But as the words indicating. My own limits – I own my limits. Because I defined myself as I need – instead of realising that is not necessary – let go. Let go all mind-limits – are illusions.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from intensity.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself from fearing from intensity because of the belief that I can loose myself within the belief – instead of realising that I fear judging the definied perception of experiencing intensity and within the act of judgement of the expression as judging intensity – I can loose myself – because I am what I act – and within the judgement I am not here and if it is intense – it is much much more that just one two judge – but in fact when something is intense – the definitions can not be followed – it is superfast – and that’s why the automatic system takes place – and everything is out of control – out of perceptioned self-control – but it never was – because the intensity indicates that I am not aware – because I defined it too intense – instead of just being me here and experiencing the expression within me as me one and equal.

So I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to use drugs such as mj or acid to actually escape from the intensity what is here – and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to built a desire from try to escape from the intensity of my accepted and allowed nature.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being loosed within intense experiences – such as confronting people, confronting possibility of death, or anything where I have a tendency to define trough my past to try to rid of the situation because of fear of loosing myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from loosing myself because I do not experience any stable thing within my world – instead of realising the stability is my presence HERE – and that is always here who I really am.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I am actually here – I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I am the responsible of my experience, EACH.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from loosing myself, because I defined me trough and as my mind, my memory, my past and my desires what are also based of my past – and this mind is merely an illusionaric not infinite expression of me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from loosing myself because I am not aware of breath – instead of just being here and being honest with myself and being here accepting me and expressing without any judgement.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being lost because I can not define anything within the moment.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that when I judge something as defining – that I am separated from anything – instead of realising that the belief of separation is coming from the act of defining – de-fine -to be able to re-fine- because within the judgement is not here – and that’s why the illusion of separation can be experienced and within the expression of this experience – I defined myself trough what I express – and by this I fell into my trap of my trap.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the illusion of separation – because of I did regret – and instead of change i tried to deny, I tried to hide – but when I am here – I experience me – so I dare myself to remain here and experience and face with myself to be able to be one and equal with and as me.

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