I forgive myself

Self forgiveness – self-writing – self-stabilizing

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use party as a stage where I can show how much I am cool – how smooth I am – how much I embrace – how nice I am – how much fun I have – to get attention, to get appreciation, trough o(u)thers eye’s, because I did put trust into other’s judgement and trough my judgement of their judgement I can feed my ego as I am cool, I am somebody – because I am lost, I am alone.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek and search for intimate relationship to hide that I am not being intimated with and as myself – because I judged me before I even allowed myself to experience being intimated with myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted to separate me from myself.
I forgive myself that I definied me as the music at the party within and as separation.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to accept me as my presence as breath in all ways.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to being attracted to cute dancing girls but in the attraction not manifesting too much, because in that I could be exposed that I am attracted to girls what I know is dishonesty as separation – so abusing self-honesty and keeping up this polarity to remain my own separation’s slave until I can.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as tired, of tiredness – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the resources are limited – instead of realising that I am the source.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define sounds as joy, instead of realising that I am one and equal with and as sound – I am one and equal with and as joy HERE.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use smile as a mask because then I can be accepted because if I smile, then I am happy, and if I am happy I am all right.
I forgive myself to judge any beings around me especially at party – not realising that within the judgement I separate myself from myself and actually I judge me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use and become the ego of the mind trough the separated refractions what I defined outside from me as who I am or those are my values outside and trough that I am not one and equal with and as HERE so not I am the directive principle.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to be absolute self-honest with and as me in every single moment here.
Oh this is
I also forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define and judge people trough how they dance.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the personality design of party to be able to automaticly and systematically being able to enjoy, be accepted and be a good dancer.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can not dance.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate me from the word: dance.
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to separate myself from the word: party.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to being influenced trough the past memories of parties what I participated within to define what is party, how is a party and how to behave at a party. I am here as moment as breath.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abuse my human phisical body trough dancing too much, not drinking water when need, because of the desire of I want to dance – because this track is cool or because there are good vibes on the dancefloor.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to form the absolute polarity manifestation of being extensively expressive and then being the closed shy to being able to stabilize this personality to remain the slave of it as I defined myself as me at the party personality cloak to hide who I really am HERE.
forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be THE performer/dj to being able to control and be the master of the party.
I forgive myself that I desired to make music but really I didnt do because I havent trusted myself and also I was sure that is of self-dishonesty – and I simply hesitated to manifest because I was afraid to face with the consequences.
….much more….
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word: evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people – evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from I am evil.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted me to fear that I could become evil.
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to judge darkness.
I forgive myself that I accepted myself to fear of darkness of me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s