Where should I start?

Hmm…I started with when I was alone, I said that

“I do not allow anything less than who I am”

Why? Because until now I allowed, and now I see the consequences of it..Enough!

I do say this too:
“I am life as the breath”
I am stating that I choose life, not a predefinied, preprogrammed action-reaction show. Being the slave of little games I could never get free from that fact those define, bound me….until I should decide, at any price, I face with them all, because I am life, over trough on every lie, no matter how I do not know what is going on, however is scary, I face with that, because this is my only chance, absolute honesty, to open up why do I what I do.

“I am a unified man already” – because this contains that one and equal, contains that I am like this, but I have to realise. Not negative, not positive, not neutral, trough theese I had experienced me until now, why should I experience myself like all of this as one as equal? With this, possible to work, not holding the past, not hoping on future, just here and now all of this containing trough breathing.

I breathe, I watch the breath, this is what I am, who watch the breath, who is the breath. This means I breath. The car is also breathes, but that is not life. The computer chooses, but is not life.
So that robot what breathes and chooses, is that life? Haha it is called human. But what drives that, what is the imprint the robot: that is me. The life, which is the slave of a decision, what it did, and now here is the decision, that by the breath to realise this, or chooses like that: it will formed…this means only one: timeloop. Later. Looks like a choose, a decision, because I decide that I still do not want to be life without condition, but this means only one that I am not ready for that. To do that decision that inevitable: life or still hiding
life or still pushing away the responsibility
life or still participating in that by conscious or unconsciously supporting that what is going in this sick system.

So i say this is the begining: the decision, to see that: my mind is mixing the shit, and this is just an excuse for pulling me out from responsibility about I still do not want to know, I do not want to see.
You will see..if you want: like that, as you want to want to see
or if you do not want: you will see trough “you doing not want to see” too…
And this is important. Because it is you are. The choose. Life or robot. Simple. No middleway, that is robot.

What do I mean robot? Preprogammed consciousfield, what shoots into you that you have definied in the mind, as the mind, the pictures, what you choosed to hide, dog knows why. But you could know. You can go into the inner core of your being, but you have to choose to do it.
The absolute statement needs for this, like I hit with the whip inside me that “hey tala, tala talataltaltaltaltaltlaataltaltalataltala, all tala I would have you know that all tala, you know that I facing with you all, because I am lie, you are compelling me to lie, and got tired of that, enough, STOP!”

This is the first point, as far much is strong-willed, as will be straight the “proces”.

The process of that I am self-realiseation, not the slideshow, what I do now, but who hided behind of this, to dare scratch out, to dare release, express, stabilize: not allowing waving, disturbed by impressionability

To be honest to me, because others around me see me, know me, but as the picture, what I hided behind…this is why the relations are for, friendship, for meeting in their self-dishonesy, to giving right for staying in that, even keeping the other in that.

“I trust you”, “I believe what he say”, and “I entrust me on him/her/it” – theese are also dishonest escaping from that what I am, by that picture, what behind I hided, someone likes that (because he/she is in similar situation of self-dishonesty) and says “hey, I like your dishonesty, it is similar than mine, come let’s stand together, for being more stable in that, and like that we do not have to face with ourselves, come!”

Every relationship is like that, everything serves that.
I do not say the relationship, the word itself is not good, rather than what we use for, who are using it and how is being used, that is very sick.
Why do I need he/she? Why do I need always somebody? Why do I can not live without him/her?
I need that, because supports me in my self-dishonesty. I always need somebody, because like that I never have to face with me, what I have became, with that Who I am. Why can not live without him/her? Because the lie, what I have became, what I became one with, –I BELIEVED – that I can not live without that. This is like that. The lie can live only like that. This is why we are not unified, this is the truth. Because we are lie.

I could live in relationship, if I could be totally honest: buy I have never seen like that…but than it comes up: i do not want sex, I do not want to be dependant of her, I do not want that she being dependant of me, I do not want that being in relationship only with me…than why? Suspicious, very suspicious why do we want somebody, why.

And what is very hard to understand, HAVE TO: the sex is one of the main force of the enslavement here on earth, the unequal assignment, equivalent with money. Why do you want sex? For the mind conscious system, what you have became, could exchange information? For enjoying a “joy” like that? For connecting totally with the other mind conscious system, literally like 2 systems, for patching the other’s self-dishonesty.
Why needs family, marriage? For legitimating that, for keeping in the people like that, because when you are married, and some years pass, oh fuck I am in this, what to do? Trap trap trap.
For not waking up, for “learning some from that” for still hiding, for making child and saying “my child, yes he/she will instead of me” fuck personal shit trap trap trap BE HONEST!
Or marriing with that person to be sure I do not have to find another, because of the fear, and be sure, I do not have to fear all of day about maybe, maybe he/she will leave me…but if the child will come, this statement of self-dishonesties will stable by LAW by paper by RING by fuck by posession by reason of children…
And “no there are nice families” haha trap trap trap
They go home and door close, and intim…
and parents are quite cool front of the children, and one more layer, bedroom, bed, layers of self-dishonesty,
For me it is easy to quit, but for some(personaly enslavement one by one) says that’s impossible.
I do say IT IS the question of CHOOSE AND HONESTY…the personal freedom is waiting, there is the door, always, for poor, for rich, we are equal.

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